Relationships

Spent some time this past weekend thinking about my personal relationship with my kids. I include my two sons, and current daughter in law (current, as the next one will only qualify in about a year).

So, right now, I probably have the best relationship with my daughter in law (daughter), the mother of my three grandchildren. I see them and her basically every Sunday, when I visit, and we have lunch together, and me and her do quite a bit of talking, about the kids, schooling etc. , the progress the baby is making and her situation. Some weeks she's doing okay, other weeks she's not so okay. It all revolves around how her week went with regards her interactions with her husband, my eldest son, from whom she's currently separated.

Interestingly, his attitude towards her seems to be influenced by whether his mother is visiting him or not. She lives down by the coast somewhere, but comes up every 2 weeks or so to visit, ad help him with the kids when he has them stay over at his home. When she's here, his attitude towards my daughter sucks! 

His communication with me is also restricted and strained. He was in the USA attending the WSOP for 7 weeks. When he got back, I got a WhatsApp message which said, landed safely. Then nothing for 10 days. Then a "I miss you dad" message. Then nothing. I eventually made the effort to contact him, and went to see him. Couldn't spend much time together as he was in the middle of a tournament, but we at least managed to catch up some.

After that, again nothing. But it's okay, as I know his mother has a big influence on his life right now, and he knows how I feel about her and her opinion on the separation, so he's writing it down to that being the problem.

My younger son is now living with his fiancé. They have their own lives to live, but even there I have seen less and less communication. They always busy. That's fine. But then don't expect me to always be available when you need something. Doesn't work that way. I'm more likely to take a ride out on the bike alone these days, where we always used to ride out together. But I understand, as he's in a precarious situation right now. Finances are strained, he's sold his bakkie, and has been using my other sons spare car, but that's now going to be taken back as the older one sold his primary car, and need the spare car back! And he's not in the position to get another one, I just hope he doesn't decide to sell his bike!

So, I have "3" kids. The 2 biological kids - relationship is so-so. The married into my family kid - relationship is awesome! Go figure.

And then 3 grandchildren who are the light of my life!