Control

Not sure why, but driving home yesterday from visiting with the grandchildren, I go to thinking about control. Not sure if it was a song playing on the radio that set it off, but it matters not.

AI on Google says it refers to the ability to direct or regulate something, person, object or process. Or the power or influence one has over others, or the action of restricting or influencing something.

But, in any situation the point of control is influenced by another external action. Let me see if I can put my point across.

Control of a process - You can switch a machine on or off, but if someone else had disconnected the electricity, that machine will not run.

Control of object - You can throw a ball, but the distance it goes is dependent on how strong you are, how heavy the ball is, if there is an object in the way, etc.

Control of person - You can instruct someone to do something, but if they refuse, it won't get done. You can then threaten them, but that involves a different action, from you and or them, so you have not been successful in controlling them.

Anything I can think of that involves control of some sort, can be impacted by a third party, thing, which means, to me, that we are never fully in control.

Not of people, things, processes, emotions, nothing.

Think about it   - be safe and be blessed.

I think I might be back to add to, expand this thought.

 Getting older

So getting older means also forgetting stuff, getting things wrong that you have always got right, and other assorted similar crap!

End of last year, after another bout of no water due to incompetence of our local municipality, I decided to put in a backup water tank, (1500lt) with a booster pump.

I then ran the pump without municipal feed so that I could have an idea how long the tank would last me. Nearly 10 days! I refilled it, and redid the test. Nearly 10 days! That means my average monthly consumption, normal use, not sparingly, would be around 4.5 - 5 Kl per month.

Now I checked my monthly water bill, and the average was 10Kl. I knew it was correct due to the fact that I send them a photo of the reading every month, and they bill me on that. But I also now realized that I was 'losing' 5Kl of water every month, and that after the meter, which stood in my property (that's another story).

So I walked up to the meter, and removed the cover around the base, and lo and behold, a leak! And a proper leak, basically 5Kl a month!

I reported it, it took them nearly 6 or 8 weeks, numerous emails, SMS's, WhatsApp's, and threats, but they came out, removed the faulty meter, and put in a new on, but on the pavement this time, on my instruction! And usage dropped to around 5Kl a month. Great.

Anyway, I digress - so we have had a water problem again, been a week or so. Last week Tuesday I switched to the tank again, knowing I'll be okay for around 10 days.

Yesterday (Sunday) I checked my electricity meter (prepaid) and I know I can get a month out of R1000.00 (around 353kWh). But I only had 70kWh left. That means I won't make it to the end of the month. Couldn't figure out why...

Last night I go upstairs to get ready for bed. I hear a humming sound coming in through the window. So I go back down, and go outside to se if I can identify the cause. I've heard it a few night in a row now, and decided to see what it was.

Turns out it's the water pump! I had forgotten to close one of the circulation valves, which means the pump was running 27/7for 6 days. Basically pumping water from the tank, into the feeder pipe and back into the tank!

That little error cost me around 70kWh of electricity - and that's why I will be short this month, and will have to buy more to get me through the month.

And that's how we learn -

Be blessed everyone!

 Work?

Work life at the moment sucks - big time.

Since our new owner took over the company, our turnover had decreased to 10% of what it was. The past two months have been a bit better, but still no where near what it needs to be. It has cost him in excess of 1.8 million to keep our doors open!

Some background - This company was owned by Mr. and Mrs. Hean. I started here working 2 days a week. Then out primary client (95%+) was 3BM SA, owned by Roger Mar1in. After Mr. Hean passed away, Mrs. Hean asked me to stay on and help run the company.

For some years prior, they had been trying to sell the company to Roger, who always indicated his interest, but never made an offer. After he died, Mrs. Hean told him she really wanted to sell. He delayed and played the game till she dropped her price to a ridiculous number. He seriously "stole" the company. But no matter, now our client was also our owner, as Roger owns 3BMSA.

Then Roger sold 3BMSA and Rhombic to a BEE buyer, an African guy who got funding from the IDC or one of those institutions. He didn't get enough funds to buy out Roger completely, so bought the company, and some of the existing stock. This meant that Roger still owned a lot of stock - probably around 40 million!

Now, Roger was well off, so could float 3BMSA on a monthly basis if funds ran short, Then when the money came in, he would be refunded. This worked well, the company had an average monthly turnover of around 8 million Rand! At a 35% profit margin, good business.

So the new guy takes over. Renames the place 3BM SGT - this means that all 3EBMSA suppliers whom they had accounts with, now see this as a new company, so go COD. New owner will have to first build up his credit worthiness before they will open accounts. And as he has limited access to funds, he struggles to get raw materials. And with no raw material, we can't manufacture for him, so clients don't get their product, and many go elsewhere! 

He gets onto Rogers bad side, so Roger firms up on his credit as well, meaning that even though Roger has in stock the products 3BMSGT needs, they can't get it till they pay for it! That's what happens when you burn bridges! His GM resigns on short notice, so he has to get a new one - they don't come cheap, and as he's also an African, comes with attitude, demands a new company car as he doesn't like the nearly new Pajero the previous GM drove. And I am sure a fat salary, company petrol card, expense account, cellphone, etc.

His sales manger gets worked out - so has to employ a new one - won't just promote the person in sales who has been responsible for 80% of the turnover for the past 5 - 6 years! Nope, maybe because she's white and female!

Then he hires in 2 African lady HR consultants - who everyone agrees adds no value to the company - and they can't be disposed of as he signed them for a 12 month contract! (R50k a month is what they getting paid).

Internally, they promote a clerk (African) into the buying position - including all purchases of products from sub-contractors, like our company! He has no idea what he's doing, and has to keep referring back to his old boss for guidance and assistance!

I finally learned that the new owner comes from a corporate environment, and his plan is to turn this small / medium company into a corporate! All that means is big overheads, expensive top management, a CEO position (for him), a board, and the glory of telling your mates you are the owner, and CEO, of a corporation! Seriously?

All this spending has left him in a situation where he can no longer buy materials like the company used to, so we can't manufacture. 

So, I now have a company I run, where out of the 15  workshop employees, only about 5 are working, The rest I am trying to keep busy! We have made "stock" with material that was on our floor, and Have cleaned and repacked the 3 workshops, and I even have a guy on the roof painting!

He's now also employed a financial consultant. Go figure - a bit late for that, and he's expensive - and I can't see how he's going to add value, other than he's now looking at my job description, which I supplied him with, to re-evaluate my salary which I told him I am not happy with. I know, wrong time as the company is doing so bad, well, he needs to know what I bring to the party, before they decide they can replace me with an African manager - then they will close the doors here! 

So, here's hoping they get the top up loan from the IDC they have applied for - here's hoping the IDC manage to get Eishkom to stop importing / buying cheaper Chinese imports (they not really much cheaper, and their quality sucks, but the guy in Cape Town who imports this shit is known to hand out brown envelopes to some of the procurement staff at Eishkom!)

If only get the fuse box business back, and get awarded the current tenders which are pending, we will do a minimum of 750k a month turnover, which is much more than we need to do to keep the company afloat, and I could by employing another 8 or so people, grow that number to between 1 million and 1.5 million Rand a month!

Some names have been altered - to protect myself!

End of rant - at least I have this off my chest.

Now for my next trick - sending love and peace to the world from my blog.

 Grandchildren

I'm sitting here at my desk, finishing off the weeks reports and stuff. My cellphone is next to me on the desk, and every time my hand passes over it, the screen light up. And all I see is my screensaver, a photo of me and my 3 grandchildren, taken a few months ago. And it makes me smile.

I have been blessed with 3 beautiful, happy, loving kids, still small (4 and 2 and 1), but they have consumed me.

The joy they bring to my life when I visit them is incredible. Yes, as kids they can be testing too.

The oldest, very clever little lady, always has questions, and has mastered the use of "Why?" She wants to know everything, and needs an explanation for everything. Her dad told me one evening when he was tucking her in she asked "Do we still swallow our spit when we sleeping?" Now who has ever even given that a thought, yet she did, and wanted to know! As my first grandchild, she's always going to own the top spot in my heart, not to say the other two don't feature, they are very close behind, but like most special things in our lives, the first one is probably the most treasured. At school she's the class "madam"! Always first to offer to help the teacher, always up front when arranging games (wanting to have her own way), a real drama queen when needed. Loves drama (as in plays, acting, singing), does ballet, swims, likes to color in. Has given me loads of pages with various scribbles (from when she was little) and excitedly tells me "Look what I mad for you Nonno!", all of which I have kept. So precious.

The second one - he's a typical boy. And typically 2 yrs old. Terrible twos' is what they refer to, and he's living up to that. He's adamant he will get his way, will ignore you, and push his luck at every turn. I have worked out if I want him to do something, I tell him the opposite, and then get the result I want! He's a fast learner, with the added advantage of having a clever bigger sister who he has loved to mimic. For a long time he would just repeat whatever she said or did. Of late I have noticed that he's getting more of his own personality. He has learned much quicker to form full sentences, and is getting used to sometimes having to play alone. Probably going to school (Grade RRRRRR?????) has helped him break his dependence on his sister.

The baby, well she's just a heart breaker - the most beautiful little person. She's also learning very fast, as she has two siblings teaching her, and whom she watches all the time. She wants to be able to join them in their shenanigan's, so her development seems to be much faster.

Overall, I may have many issues in my life that affect me negatively, but one afternoon spent with these precious blessings, and my daughter (in-law), and I'm ready for whatever the next week will throw at me.

Keep safe out there

 Looking back

I was again. as usual, playing with my blog page layout - It's still not like I want it, but it's okay - for now. I read some of my very old posts (the original blog I can't find - have no clue how to find it either), but that old stuff really brought back some memories - went through some very dark times back then - and it's not that long ago.

Glad I've managed to push through it, and move on. It reminded me that anxiety, and more so, depression, are very bad spaces to be in, and if you are not careful, can be disastrous. I have learned over time to identify / recognize the symptoms, and have managed to get out of that space myself. On the few occasions I couldn't "reverse" my emotional state, I have got medical help. It works - it's worth it, and you get back control of your life.

So, the point I'm making here (and also as a reminder to myself), don't be ashamed of  feeling anxious or even depressed. It can be controlled / fixed. Too many men have been raised to think a man shouldn't show / suffer this emotion, and it's probably the primary cause for suicide among men.

Finally, if you know someone who is going through this, make time to speak to them, even better, make an effort to listen to them, no need to offer advise, other than, "Maybe it's time to see a doctor?".

Good luck out there - love your life.

 So I'm a little slow....

I only just now noticed that the blog page automatically puts in the date above the post. I have been putting the date into the heading, so as to be able to refer back, remember when I posted whatever I wrote. Sorry, I'm a little slow, but keeping track of specific dates has become important to me.

Other than that, not too much news. My current contract with my employer ends at the end of this month. I have a few options:-

1) Keep quiet, come to work as usual on 02 June, and keep working, which will automatically make me a permanent employee!

2) Raise the issue with him, and get served with a new (1 or 2) year contract, which then again had an "end date".

The problem is that June is my increase month. If I go and speak to him about my increase, he may pick up that my contract is coming to an end, and then either let me go (not likely), or get his HR ladies to draw up a new contract for me. This would open the door for renegotiation of my salary and employment terms, I suppose, but still risky. Or I wait till July, which is increase month for all the other employees, and take the minimum as per the steel industry, which isn't actually applicable to me.

So I'm not sure what to do.

Personally, I think I should go and see him, explain that it's time for my increase, and see if I can negotiate a better deal. My current salary was agreed to when the previous owner bought out my original employer. He said he would only buy the company if I agreed to stay on. The salary was what we agreed on - but probably short of what I should have asked for. I was just wanting to ensure the sale went through for the lady who had decided to sell after her husband passed away.

SO, any advise there from my brother (or anyone else who might stumble across this blog)?

 When we can help, we should - 12 May 2025

On Sunday morning, I went to church, followed by a visit t my mom. I hadn't seen her on Saturday as usual, as I went to a 1st birthday party for my last born grandchild. My sister was also visiting mom, so we had a chance to catch up. And as usual, we got into a discussion about the shenanigans going on in my extended family (read sons). She's adamant that counselling is the answer. I know that one of the party isn't interested. Anyway, we have these discussions, share information, and agree to continue to pray over the issue.

I had bought mom a cappuccino on the way, which she really enjoyed. Then the sister arrived with a small cub cake, which I fed to mom, along with a second cup of coffee. After about 45 minutes, I said my goodbyes.

As I got into the car, I saw I had a message from a very good friend, who had on Friday past left for Malta. She's there on a 3 - 5 year contract, how lucky. She's the widow of my late best friend Mike, who died a few years ago, and we have kept in touch.

Anyway, just over a week ago she contacted me about an elderly couple who live close to me. The man was their pastor many years ago, and ran the church where Mike and Erika got saved. They were always close, and kept in touch even after moving to the Cape. She told me the lady had recently got sick, and 8 weeks in hospital did nothing to help, in fact, she had walked into there, and eventually came home in a wheelchair. She said the old man wasn't coping too well. For a start he can't cook! Then, being 81 years old, he's struggling to lift her off the bed, get her to the bathroom and back. She won't eat much, usually only wants toast and jam, so he doesn't bother to buy in any ready made meals, which means he's not eating well. A couple of times she's taken a fall, and he's had to contact a neighbor to come and help get her up. She says she does not want to go back to hospital, and wont accept him getting a caregiver in to help. So he's in a bad space. I went round then to introduce myself, and told him if he needs any help, he's free to call me. I live maybe 3 minutes away. Nice old guy. We spent probably 30 minutes chatting in his driveway. I got Erika the details of Brian's, a place just 500 meters from the old peoples home, that do meals daily, and deliver, and it's good food, and R50 a plate for pensioners. She was going to try and arrange for a meal to be delivered 3 - 4 times a week.

Anyway, so I see a message from her. The old man has contacted her again, and she's worried because apart from the usual, they really not eating well. Now on my first visit I confirmed that finances are not a problem. I called her, and told her this, and said I'd go round and chat to him about Brian's, and other food delivery options in the area. She asked if I'd pick up two Sunday lunches from Brian's and deliver it. She would pay me back. No problem. Sunday lunch is a fuller meal, and costs a bit more, but still cheap. I get there, order two meals, and wait 30 minutes in my car, as all meals are prepared fresh.

I drive to their home, call, and he comes out. He's very happy to see me, and thankful for the meals. Again, he keeps me chatting in the driveway for probably another 45 minutes. I don't mind, as I can hear he needs to talk, and has some nice stories to tell, in-between updating me on the situation with his wife. My advise was that he get her back to a doctor, and ask for a referral to a proper specialist, so they can find out how she went from a walking patient with infection in her blood and kidneys, to a nearly paralyzed wheelchair patient! Also, even though she says no, if she needs to be hospitalised, do it. And if you need help, get a caregiver. It's also about him, and his ability to care for her, and his health. And, hold onto your faith, you being tested. We had a good chat, he was very thankful for my time and care.

Imagine being married for 40 years, never having to cook or clean, and suddenly being responsible, at age 81, for all that. And having to take care of the woman who always took care of you. Having to clean up after her if she does not make it to the bathroom on time. I know some of you have been doing this, and take my hat off to you. But he's an old man, old school, does it because he knows he has to, but does not have the strength to. I feel for him.

I'll see him again soon I'm sure. And we think we have problems.

Be safe out there.

 Answered prayers - 12 May 2025

Once again, in a situation where I knew I needed some help and comfort, I sent up a prayer, and He heard me and answered.

I had a situation this past Saturday, where I was worried that my anxiety would probably get the better of me. My friend DMD said he was sure I would be okay, because that's just the person I am, but I wasn't so sure.

Anyway, on the way I asked our Father just to be with me, calm my mind, and watch my mouth. And He did. And all went well.

I am blessed.... Be safe and sending much love to you.

 A memory - 30 April 2025

That's us, sitting in the booth
You, with your wild hair

Your laughing eyes

And that naughty look

That's us

Now it's just me

That booth is empty

No laughing

No sneaky sideways glance

Nothing

My only thought

"Your loss"

 If I don't do anything then.....

I have posted here before about the situation the company I work for finds itself. Anyway, last week Thursday, just before I went to the doctor, the guy who own the place next door asked if he could come and view the property. He has in the past indicated an interest in buying it, but that discussion didn't bear fruit.

Now he's interested again. So much so that before I got home after his viewing, I got a call from the current owner to say he had made an offer, and it was for more than she was expecting!

Okay, so he really wants the place! I know he tried to buy the place behind the one next door, but that's not for sale. So, my advise to the landlady was to get hold of my boss, and let him know that if he does not put in an offer now, she's going to sell, and he will have to move.

Thing is, the lease here comes up at the end of May, around 6 weeks time. If this property gets sold, then we have to move. We have to find alternative workshops which suit our needs. We will have to get forklifts, riggers and crane trucks to move all the machines and equipment. The cost, my estimate, would be around R200k, depending how far we move. Then, in the new premises, we would have to get an electrical company to upgrade and fit the distribution boards, and pull in all the cables required to power the machines. My estimate here is between R300 and R400k! Along with being out of production for probably 4 - 6weeks.

This morning I went to where his offices are, and met with him. I explained the above, and recommended that he seriously consider buying the property. He listened and said that he had been in contact with the bank (for financing?), and they just needed one more document from him.

Let's see how this goes.

On another (related?) note, last month they didn't load the pay on time, and we all got paid late. It took for me to drive to his offices, and request they make it immediate clearance (which costs the company money), and ensure my staff get paid same day. Before I got back to the office we had all been paid. This month, I called him the night before payday, at around 6pm. I explained that I was checking that he had cleared the payments online, and he confirmed he had. Great, I thought.

The next morning (Friday 25/03/2025), I saw no notification on my cell phone from the bank. I get to work, and the employees confirm none of them have been paid! Damn! I make a call to the main office, and speak to the lady who loads the payments onto the banking system. She confirms that the payments were not released. I ask her to change them to "Immediate clearance" and get the boss to release. Then I call my staff together, and tell them there has again been a hiccup, but I promise that they will get paid before we knock off!

Lucky, about 2 hours later the wages came through, everyone got their notifications from their banks, and that problem was sorted.

I look like the hero now, but that aside, we really don't need this kind of stress. My staff don't earn bombs, don't have access to other funds, so depend on their pay coming in on time.

As it is, we gat paid on the last Friday of every month, but next week I'm meeting with the FM and CEO, and asking them to change it to the 25th of every month. That way, if there is a hiccup, we have a day or two to sort it out.

And this morning I received a message from the current landlord to confirm that the boss had indicated he will be sending her an offer, matching the other one she had received. So looks like he's buying. And, the offer was a couple ok 100k above her original asking price!

Enuff of that.....have another subject I want to post about - on my other blog.

 April 22, 2025 - Another day in paradise

So here we are. Tuesday morning, at the office. I know, I should be working, well, I'm the manager here, and at the moment we not too busy, I have made sure all is well in the factory, so can take 5 minutes to start this post.

I posted a blog directed at a very good friend (brother), and he replied on his blog. Interesting how that's working.. Suffice to say, we know each other too well.

I can't wait till I can get down there to spend a few days together. He's a good man, gives great advice, listens to hear and not just respond.... Not too many people like him around - well, not in my life anyway.

So, this coming weekend, my nephew (in-law, read ex's sister son) is getting married, It's his second. I was on the invite list - one of only 70 people, but alas, I had to decline. And I'm quite pissed about it. You see, the ex will obviously be there, probably with her ??, and his parents. Since our divorce, I have had no communication with the ex family, other than when my mom-in-law died, and then as little as possible. 

Also, even though I made a point of being the better person after the divorce with regards how I treated my ex, that has now come to an end. On the basis that she is enabling my son with regards his decision to divorce his wife, I can no longer, in good faith, be that guy. So I am making a point of avoiding her as much as possible.

What pisses me off is that I am now missing out on events which include family and friends. I know, it's my decision, but made on the back of my self respect, and not wanting to condone the actions of others. If you are seen to be in acceptance of their actions, it reflects on you as well!

So, apart from the fact that I was sick, I didn't get to spend Good |Friday, or Easter Sunday with my family. Had we been a normal family, my illness would not have ben an issue. We would have go together, and celebrated, minding that I don't infect the little ones. Well that didn't happen. Had we been a normal family, I would be flying down to the Cape this week to attend the wedding.

What's even more annoying, and again, probably due to decisions and / or choices I have made, is that their lives are going on as normal. This is their new normal. But it's not normal, not in my eyes.

And this bring to the fore another issue. I know my boys care for me, and look out for me. More so my biking wingman - he has much of my personality, so caring for those close to you comes naturally. However, of late I have been feeling bad about stuff, mostly because I don't want him to feel like I am now his responsibility. He has his own life, and shouldn't have to worry about his dad, make sure I feel included, looked after, etc.

I'm not saying that his actions are because he feels responsible to look out for me - I just don't want it to be that. Does this makes sense? It does in my head. I really appreciate him, and what he does for me.

Enough for now..... Not sure where I was going with this post, other than to record my feelings and thoughts.

On the basis that I probably only have one reader, who I am very comfortable to share my stuff with, I'm okay with publishing it here.

Be safe out there.

 20 April, 2025 - To my blogger brother.

I have spent two days running and writing this post in my head. There is so much I want to say, even more I should say, and yet......

All would be so much easier and better if done face to face. But that's not an option right now, so I'm going to try and speak to him through this post.

DMD / DMGD....

Your post really hit me, and yes, I was in tears. And not only because of the content of your post, but also because I understand what you going through - mostly.

First thing I have to put out there, there is no shame in a man showing his emptions, crying, getting emotionally upset. There are not features reserved for the ladies. I think there is someone out there right now who would gladly offer a listening ear, along with any tears, without any judgement. Seriously. I've been there, and still am in many respects - I have no shame showing that I feel. We are human, made with emotions as part of your DNA, and just because we were raised in an ear where men didn't show their emotions does not mean we don't have any, and does not make that statement true. Giving vent to your emotions helps. You will no doubt have had those crying sessions when you are alone in your room, and that gearbox in your brain is running amok, with all the "what if's", and "why me's"..... And you will have felt a bit better afterwards - I know - I have.

Your partner is ill, and you had to make a big decision about her care - and you did - I have no idea how hard that was, but I do know what having a family member suffering from that disease is like, and the best thing for them is being in a place that can give them the care and attention they deserve. You arranged that. Well done.

You also looking for company now, been alone too long (I was warned after my divorce "Don't get used to your own company" - I didn't listen). I understand. It's nice to have another person on call, someone who you can have dinners with, take walks, sit and chat... share some normal life together. And you will find her. She's out there. But it takes time, and patience.

I know you not impulsive, and so won't get into anything you don't feel right about. And your a nice guy, well mannered, gentle, love music, love life - hey what's not to like about you. So, you will find someone.

The fear of maybe being alone can conjure up unfounded fears, and we need to be aware of this - don't want to make hasty decisions.

Finally, the lady you speak of looks awesome (if it's her that Facebook popped up as a possible friend, who is linked to you...). She's been responsive, good. She's probably going to read your blog. You should get "feedback" of some sort from that. Either way, stressing about it now won't change the outcome.

Apart from the above, the past couple of years have been hard on you. I understand what you went through with your S. I am in awe of what you did for her before you had to make your hard decision. Your brothers story, and now having to take care of the Monster nephew, plus having your mom live with you... It's been hard. I know. 

Now this is where I'm at - And I think I know your stand on this, but it's my story.

When I was at the very bottom of my darkness, I had only one place left to turn, my bible. I opened on random pages and read. Closed it, opened again and read. And so many times the paragraph or chapter had a message for me for that day, or that specific event that needed clearing up / sorting out.

My heling came after one particularly bad evening, I was in my study, I had read a piece, and then started to talk to my "dad". Yes, I refer to God as Dad, He doesn't mind. In tears I eventually found myself on the floor, begging Him to take it away, to help me get through this, to stop my brain gearbox from going into overdrive....

I don't knowhow long I was there, if I passed out or fell asleep or what. But some time later I got up, and felt lighter. My mind wasn't burning out, I was calm, and able to think clearly about stuff. Since then, I've had a few bad stints, I've even had to get meds for the depression twice when I couldn't work my way through it..... But I've never again got to that low point I was that night.

I don't really know your stand on religion or God, or Jesus. I must assume you will have some knowledge on the subject (you not a stupid person), and I doubt you believe that you are the descendant of an ape....So, brother, maybe just sit on your deck at sunset, with a glass of wine, or beer, and have a chat to Dad. He's listening, and will hear you. It's a non-critical ear, and with promised good results.

Sorry if I am coming across as bible bashing - I'm not wanting to, just sharing what happened to me. I have so much more to say here, but maybe better kept for another time - maybe when I get to visit again.

Be strong, keep up the good work. Believe in your self.....and stay safe brother.

 20 April 2025 - Easter Sunday

This has been a different Easter for me. Unfortunately I got the flu earlier this week, and it turned into bronchitis, so I'm basically homebound. Was supposed to go to the boys on Good Friday for a prawn braai, but wasn't up for it. Wingman came round with his new lady later to bring me some prawns. Apart from church in the morning, I stayed home, indoors.

Saturday I didn't go and visit my mom as usual, as I definitely don't want to make her sick. So took a drive to a drug rehab center, where a late friends son is getting treatment. He's been there a year in a weeks time, has cleaned up well, is considering joining their counselling training. We will see how he does. I needed to get him to sign some documents for the lawyers attending to his late dad's estate. Got back home, went round to a local poker game, and joined in. Was a free roll, so no expense. Did okay, went out 9th, but considering there were 30 players who started, that's a good result. But, when the cards don't come, they don't come. Got home, went to bed, but didn't get much sleep.

Today, church. Was a nice service. Then came home. Been here all day. Had a simple lunch, have to eat to take my meds. Wingman called to say hi, and check on me. We would have gone on a breakfast run today if   didn't get sick. We agreed, maybe tomorrow, if I'm up for it. However, I'm not sure I should be exposing my chest to the cold. Will probably give it a miss.

I'm not stressed about not having had a typical family Easter Sunday, But being alone has given me a different perspective on the meaning of the day (Resurrection Sunday), and time to reflect.

Bigger issues are the possibility of my employer going out of business. That's going to leave me in a shithole. The property is also under offer to purchase, and if it gets sold, we will have to relocate the workshops by the end of May! Lease expired 31 May! And that's a shit show - probably 2 - 3 weeks downtime. Maybe problems with staff and transport. And the expense involved with moving trucks, riggers, forklifts, rewiring the new premises - it would probably be cheaper for my boss to buy the premises we are in.

But that's very much out of my hands, and so I keep the faith.

 Latest status - 15 April 2025

I've been a bit slack here - been kind of busy. Head office has sent a graduate to spend some time with us to learn the ropes. The guy studied music - yup, and now he's at an engineering company. His dad is partner in the business, so that's how it happened.

That said, he's a nice fellow, well mannered, and keen to learn, so I'm teaching him as much as I can. He's going to be here for 4 weeks, then will be back again in 4 months time.

Apart from that, I have picked up the flu, but am still at work - no peace for the wicked. However, if it gets really bad, I'll gladly take a few days off to recover.

On the home front, all is quiet. Have arranged to go out on the bike with my wingman on Sunday, so I'll be attending the 6.15 am service at the church, so that we can get an early start as well and enjoy the road with the other bikers. If we go after the 9am service, (10am), we kind of miss the bunch, and don't get the full breakfast run experience. We will see how the 6.15 am thing works if I still have the flu!

Still alone at home, and I seem to have got over the "I think I need someone around" thing I went through a few weeks ago. It happens, and I ride it out. All I need to watch out for is getting depressed. Happens quickly at times, but I have learned to recognize it, and manage it.

So all good there. I've started to clean out stuff, albeit slowly, as I know that at sometime I will want to sell the place. I'm finding stuff that hasn't been used since the divorce, and those are going to a good home (read: staff at work are benefitting).

I did a cleanup in the pantry a few months ago, and found stuff (tinned stuff) that had expired 10 years ago! That went into the bin with speed.

I've dumped half of the plastic containers (why do we have so many), and will be dumping some more soon. There's an old popcorn maker,  one of those soda stream machines (all the rubbers have perished), and some other kitchen stuff I don't even know what they are used for - they going soon.

SO, all good, keeping moderately busy, behaving, and staying safe.

 Got to keep writing

Someone commented that I need to keep writing - follow up on previous posts, or something new.

Go figure - I live alone. My day goes as follows

Up at 6.30am - Do the bathroom thing, shower etc. - Get dressed - Go downstairs, switch on the kettle - go outside for a smoke - go inside make coffee - go outside again....2 cups of coffee and maybe 4 or 5 smokes later, I've checked the Facebook updates, read any WhatsApp messages that have come through, read the daily message and prayers, and get ready to go to work. It's now 7.40am.

Note:- At this point I have not spoken to anyone yet.

Drive to work, get there at 8.am. Go inside - now I get to speak to people, the employees. Put in my 8 hours, and at 5pkm, lockup the factory and go home. I'm home by 5.15pm, if I don't stop at the club for a cold one with the boys.

Once I'm home, I don't get to speak to anyone again till I get to the office the next day - Maybe a call from one of my sons, or Gavin, a close mate, but other than that, nothing.

So, unless something happens during the day that requires taking note of, or needs to be shared with my hundreds of followers, I don't have too much to say.

Weekends are similar - up early, coffee, smokes. A visit to mom at frail care in the old age home (Advanced dementia means no communication, but I believe she knows I'm there).

Then sometimes to the club for a late breakfast, then home. Up early on Sunday - same routine - then Church, followed by a visit to my sister, followed by a visit to my grandchildren, and then my other son, and then home, to prepare for work on Monday.

Saturday afternoons I used to play poker - a nice game just a few k's down the road. But I've given that up as I can't play against donkeys, and I strip my moer too quick - it's not healthy for me :)

Reading through this post I get the feeling I need to get a life!

I am, however, posting quite a bit on my other private blog, and might share the link sometime.

Keep safe out there.....

 

 New Blog - but private for now

I've started another blog page, where I am writing down certain personal and emotional issues. It's not for public display at the moment, but more like an online diary, for myself. In it I write about specific situations, my reactions / responses to them, and sometimes my reasons.

Why? Well, I'm nearing 66 years of age, I'm probably a bit forgetful, and want to know that I have a reference I can go back on, including dates, so that I can refresh my mind, and if need be, explain my actions / reactions if they ever come up in a conversation.

Or maybe I just need to write, and my feedlot at this time is more personal, not for public consumption. Maybe I'll soon be back to writing some poetry, haven't done much of that in a while, and considering I have over 200 poems in my list, it's surprising.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now.

Keep safe out there.....

 Update on my last post

At 9.45 am, last Friday, I left the workshop and headed for the place where I would find my boss. We had not yet received our pay for the month, and the staff were not happy.

On the way there, probably 5 minutes out from his offices, my phone beeped - sms from the bank to confirm my salary had been paid in. I call one of the guys back at the workshop, nothing yet for him. I called the office lady, same.

By the time I reached the boss's office, there were 4 confirmations of salaries received. I went inside, and sat with one of the guys there that I usually deal with, and waited to see if the rest were getting paid.

Slowly the messages came through, and finally, it seemed the issue had been resolved, so I didn't bother to go and see the boss, and just drove back to work. There I found that one of the guys didn't know if he had been paid. He does not have the banking app on his phone, and no airtime, so can't receive SMS's!

As it was now close to 12 midday (we work till 2pm on Fridays) and as we had all had to stress because of this late payment, I gave everyone the rest of the day of, and locked up. I sent the errant guy R10.00 airtime, and told him to find an ATM and check his balance, and to let me know if he had been paid.

I heard from him on Saturday, where he confirmed he had been paid, but into the wrong account. It seems he was with one bank, moved to another, informed the office, but they still got it wrong.

Anyway, all's well that ends well - we got paid, got off early, and are back at work to face another day / week / month.

Oh, and the upside is everyone at work thinks I'm the hero cause I got the problem sorted!

It's getting tight now

In a previous post I spoke about the place where I work, and the new owner, and the fact that he has no financial sense. Well, the norm her (which I want to change) is that we get paid the last Friday of the month. Everyone is monthly paid, and we have always been paid on time, except once before where there was a hitch in the banking system, and we got our money one day late.

Today is pay day. Usually, by the time I get to work, all the staff on Capitec accounts confirm they have got their money. Then slowly, the other banks clear the payment. I usually get my money by around 10am.

All this depends on when the "boss" signs off (electronically) on the payments.

The amounts are loaded into the banking system for payment by a person in the finance department, but can only be released by the boss. If he fails to click on the icon from his computer / laptop, it does not go through. This morning, no one has been paid. Quick call to the main office confirms that he wasn't in yesterday and so hasn't done the deed. I told them I need it to be flagged for immediate payment (I don't care if it costs them more) as my staff need their money!

I'll wait to 10am, and if we still have not been paid, I'm driving to their offices to look for the boss myself!

Because the same guy owns the company I work for, and the company that we manufacture for, he has a central office / person to handle all banking issues. All our accounts get paid from there, our salaries, etc. We (me and the lady in the office) have no access to any of the banking, not even to look at what's been paid in. We have to get the information from this central office. Not that I care, but it does pose a problem when you don't always get the feedback you need when you need it.

So, we will wiat till 10am, then see if I have to go and threaten my boss with a possible wildcat strike!

 Seriously Sewerage

Well, this is interesting. Waterfall Estate - a very upmarket estate in Midrand. Rentals start at R40k per month, average homes rent for around R60 to R70k per month. Many rent for over R100k per month!

Prices for houses range from R8m to over R35m!

The Jukskei river runs through there, and as most of you might know, it also runs past a massive squatter camp near Sandton. So, the water is suspect at best, very dirty, but okay for viewing, and for the little dams that have been built along it's route through the estate. They also have a rather large dam next to the clubhouse. It's very picturesque, kept stocked with fish (but no fishing allowed there), and has a large birdlife. Nice. Pretty.

In the past few weeks, a big sewerage pipe, somewhere along the river, popped. All the sewerage is now spilling into the river, running through the estate, and has filled the dam! Living there now smells like living next door to a working sewerage farm!

The Johannesburg municipality have told the owners of the estate that they are not allowed to employ contractors to do the required repairs, at it is a municipal problem, so they will sort it out. However, they have no money now, so it can't be done, yet.

Seriously, you have an estate full of stinking rich people who are willing to pay for the repairs out of their own pockets, and you won't let them? Yup, that's the ANC / African mentality for you. Go figure - they more stupid than I originally thought - not that I ever doubted there stupidity.

This means that once it is done, if ever, the river will have to run for a few months to wash away all the sewerage, and the dams will have to be emptied, cleaned out, and refilled. And as we coming to what would normally be the end of our rainy season, this situation could be around for another 12 months.

Glad I don't have to drive past that dam everyday. Or live near it. 

 Well that went well

I haven't discussed my present state of employment yet. A few years ago (late 2020), I was unemployed, and due to a few coincidental factors, found myself doing maintenance work at a small engineering company in Chamdor. 2 Days a week, because that's all the owner said he could afford. It was no problem for me, at least I was working. He had got very sick, was permanently on oxygen, so could no longer move around as before, and needed someone to help with maintaining / fixing the machinery. It's all very old equipment, and so calling in a service provider was either very expensive, or useless, and no one wants to make parts for these old machines anymore. His wife was working with him, doing all the office work.

This soon became a 3 days a week job. I proved I was worth the extra money, and learned a lot from him as well. I also got involved with assisting with the production when there was a bit of a backlog on the line. This gave me invaluable insight into the operation, and possibilities of the place.

Soon after Covid restrictions were lifted, he got the virus. I started to work full time. Then Kevin died. It was tragic, sad, and a major problem for his wife. She approached me to sign on permanent to run the whole operation for her.

And I accepted. It was a good period, we did well. She trusted me enough to leave the place in my hands while she went overseas for 3 months to visit her kids!

Then she found a buyer - in fact, he was the owner of our biggest client (95 % of our business). I'm not going to get into all the details here.

Business still went well, as long as my client was getting orders, so were we. Then he put both companies on the market. And after some time found a buyer - for both. So now I had a new boss, and again he owned both the company I run, and my biggest client. He's an African guy, nice enough, but has big aspirations of boing the CEO of his own Corporate.

Problem is, he bought a small to medium sized company - Yes, they turned over between R40 and R60 million a year, but still not a corporate. 

And in the past 6 months, since he took over, my order book has dwindled to ZERO! It used to always be around R800k to R1.2m, and turning. We would invoice on average around R600k a month.

Since he came on board, we haven't even managed to cover wages each month. And this month, March 2025, we have hardly invoiced R60K.

The problem is this- first, he changed part of his company name, which means that the accounts with the current service providers fell away,  so any purchases of material is C.O.D. (and in the case of most, pay upfront)! This will continue till the New Co qualifies for a 30 day account. This has killed his cashflow!

Secondly, his aspirations of "Corporate" means he has been using the service of two ladies for HR Consulting (R50k per month!), his methods have cause the GM to take his early retirement and so has a new GM (African dude with attitude), he's had to employ a new Sales Manager (old one left after much abuse), and he has employed a Financial Consultant. He has a new costings manager..... All of these are massively expensive overheads, who add nothing to the bottom line! But they need cars, credit cards, garage cards, fat salaries.....

He's run out of money. Because he has spent so much on  stuff that does not sell. And now has applied for additional funding from wherever they get money (black empowerment funding company who's name now evades me).

Because he has no more money, he can't order material, so we cannot manufacture. And when his money is approved, he will need to place order for material. The turn around at the aluminum extruders, and plastic injection molding guys is 4 to 6 weeks. Which means, even if he places the orders on April 1st, we might get material by the end of April, and we can start delivering by the end of the first week of April. But that's still 5 weeks away!

 I Digress. Today we were surprised with a visit from the 2 HR ladies, as well as the new GM for ENB, and FM for EBM. They asked about how we run the company, do the invoicing, etc. I explained how I had created a massive spreadsheet that I now use for pricing of new products, and that our running costs for the past12 months is R2.36 per person per minute (also from my spreadsheet). And how the pricing is cross linked to other spreadsheets (like wages, price list, etc.). They were impressed enough to ask me to share it with them! Also put them in their place when they asked an=bout the old material we still have in stock. It belongs to the previous owner - they said well then make him fetch it asap. I told them that's now how it works. I have spoken to him, he asked for a few weeks to get his warehouse in order and make some space. And I agreed. And that's how it's going to happen.

Then a walk through my operation, the GM said he had seen where the welding was being done by robots at another factory - and I said yup, by me a R2.5m machine and we can do it here as well. In fact, with about R20m, I could automate most of this place, and just keep about 5 people employed. But I would rather make them like I do, and keep 15 families fed! He's an African guy, and seemed to agree with me after all.

At the end of the day, the visit went well, I think they going back with some good things to say about me to the boss man. Either way, I do what I do to the best of my ability, and to the benefit of the Boss, and more importantly, the employees.

More on this as things develop.

 What's up with this.....

For the past 4 to 6 weeks I have been waking up at around 4.30 am. Not every night, but often enough for me to be troubled by the event. And it's not like I am getting to bed too early, always after 10pm, usually closer to 11. And when I wake up, I'm not tired, to the point where I eventually just get up, go downstairs and have a smoke or 3, and a cup of coffee, or 2....Just sitting outside on my deck, listening to the birds start to chirp, and some poor buggers leaving for work (crap when you have to travel far for work).

And it's not like I'm tired early the next day. So, my sleep clock is broken. The other issue is when I do wake up (even if it's with the alarm clock at 6.30am), my body is sore. Especially the hips. But, as soon as I hit the shower, that pain goes away. Old age stiffness I suppose.

On other matters, I have had another run in with the local municipality. They have been stuffing around with the billing for water usage. So when we built the house, we had a pre-paid water meter installed. Worked well for about 12 months. Then it packed up. I reported it, and they came out to check. They removed it, saying they didn't have a replacement, put a bypass pipe in, and left, promising to be back with another unit. They never came back. Every 6 months I would go down to the water department, tell them I am still waiting for a new meter, and leave. Every other month I would send an email. Nothing. That was around August 2006. In July 2017, I had to take the ex off of the account, so went to see them. They did a check on the system, and saw that I had not bought any water tokens for a while! Seriously? You the same clown that has ignore my verbal and written requested for 11 years, and now this? Anyway, they can only back bill for 36 months, and only the average for the area, so it cost me around R36000. And on the 12th of May, 2022, they finally came out and installed a new water meter - but on my property, not outside on the sidewalk where they can take readings every month.

So, on the 8th of every month, I have been taking a photo of the meter, and sending an email to 3 or 4 people who "work" in the water department, and who are responsible to capture said details.

My email includes:- 1) Date, 2) Reading, 3) Serial number of meter, 4) Physical address, 5) Erf number and 6) a phot of the said meter. For the first while, they captured the details as sent. Then they seemed to lose the plot, and the readings were a few KL off, like the reading might go from 358 to 369 (11kl), and they would bill 358 to 371 (13kl). I didn't worry too much.

Then I discovered a massive leak, exactly where they had connected the incoming pipe to the meter. It was a few days after I installed a 1500lt JoJo tank for backup. SO I closed the incoming valve to stop the leak, and ran off the tank (with booster pump). The water in the tank lasted me more than 7 days! This meant my average use per month was actually in the region of 5 - 6 kl per month, meaning that the leak had been there, undiscovered for a long time! No matter, I reported it to the relevant department. And rereported it daily, on WhatsApp and by email, copying all and sundry, including the mayor, for 21 days! Every time my tank ran dry, I would open the valve, let it refill the tank while leaking away, and then close it. 

It was only after I approached the previous mayor (read DA), that I got some joy. They came out to check, contractors obviously, as our water dept. employees are only there to use the municipal bakkies as taxis, and a director of the said contracting company. They all agreed that the initial installation was wrong, should have been outside of the property, and, that it was a poor install. So, as per my request, they removed it, and reinstalled it outside, and made good the connection inside. Eventually! Ever since, my monthly average use is 5lk! I still take and send the photo every month....however - 

On my last statement I received for the period 03/01/2025 to 02/02/2025, I noticed two things,1) they billing me for 20kl of water, which means 6kl at one rate, 9kl at a higher rate, and 5kl at maximum rate (sliding scale - the more you use, the more you pay). And the reading, instead of being 354 to 359 (5kl) is 1357 to 1377 (20lk)!!! Where the hell do they get this.

So I checked back, and from Oct last year, they have used fictitious readings, starting in the 1000's, where my meter is still in the 100's.

So, off to the municipal offices. Stand for 1 hr and 15 minutes in a queue (only 6 people in front of me), because as the employee finishes with someone, they leave, and no one comes back for 10 minutes. Then someone else comes, helps one client, and leaves, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Eventually, I get to speak to someone, who takes me serious. Asks for my readings from Oct. 2024. Lucky I still have the photos on my phone, so I can give the readings to her. She promises to redo my statements, and that I will receive a corrected statement for this month.

Needless to say, I have not received anything. Online check confirms my statement is still the same as previously received. An email sent will go unanswered.

So today, I am going back to the sad queue, loaded with all the paperwork, photos, proof of their incompetency. I will remain there till they issue me with a new, correct statement. Failing that, I will be going to see the mayor, and don't think I'm going to be nice.

So it's 3 hours later. I went armed with copies of statements, emails sent, and my personal spreadsheet showing every reading taken since the meter was installed. As per the norm, I spent almost an hour in the queue. Of the 3 ladies assiting (yup, there were 3 today), one didn't have a computer on her desk (no way she's going to be of any help), the second one seemed to enjoy chit chatting with the clients who sat at her desk (not really interested in the people still waiting in the queue), and the 3rd lady, seemed to know what she was doing. If nothing else, I would let those behind me pass through until lady no 3 was available.

As luck would have it, I go to see her. She listened, she looked at whatI had brought with, and took it away, to consult with someone. I did mention as she was walking away, that  wasn't planning on leaving till I had a revised statement in my hands!

She was away for maybe 20 minutes - no problem, I was playing poker on my cellphone :).

When she returned, she presented me with all my papers, and a revised statement, which shows all the required credits and debits going back 9 months (from when this mistake started) as well as my current outstanding balance, which is R600 less than the one I got last week! So, she listened, and did her job, and did it well! She also complimented me on my record keeping, and said I should continue with that.

And, she confirmed that the problems started when my emails stopped coming through. It would seem that there was a glitch in their system, and my emails were probably going to spam. Okay, I will give them the benefit of the doubt, this time.... All's well that ends well!

Have a blessed day!

 

 Sunday fun day

So, yesterday I awoke to a beautiful sunny day - a perfect day for a blitz on the bike. Usually, my wingman goes with, but he was away, so it was "ace out" this time.

First stop was a filling station, fueled up, and didn't check tyre pressure as they felt okay.

Next stop church. Then off to burn some fossil fuel, scare some cagers, and clear the cobwebs.

I always leave home with the intention of having a nice slow ride, enjoy the scenery, keep calm. Within 1 km of the church I was already bending that monsters ear, blitzing traffic and eating the miles.

Just past the Sterkfontein hospital, I felt the bike twist a bit through the bends, so quickly slowed down, and drove to the bottom of the road where I knew there was a garage. Time for some sky in the rubber.

The rear wheel was fine, the front a bit under pressure, And that was the cause of the wobble. Had a smoke, jumped back on the beast, and off we go. To the Bru House and Diner. It's a nice stop, popular with the bikers and they usually have live music on a Sunday. A quick Coke Zero, a smoke or two, and I'm off again. Need to do this satellite road blitz! Turn left out of the Diner, and hit the tar hard. About a kilometer down the road, I realise I'm going the wrong way :) - so a quick U-turn where it was safe to do so, and back the way I cam, past the Diner at 180km/h!

Down the road towards the long sweep which opens up to the downhill past the satellite dishes, I'm sitting on 160km/h, road is clear, you can see for miles, and the sun is warm. The bike is responding well, but a slight "clunk" every now and then has me wondering.......

Up the hill, through the sweep, this is an easy 160km/h bend, over the top, and down the long straight! Now this beast is stretching her legs proper! I just passed the entrance to the satellite station before I managed to stop, turn, park, and another smoke (I seem to be having too many smoke breaks), but don't stop for long. I have places to be, people to scare, and rubber to burn. A man's work is never done it would seem!

A good ride to the Upperdeck at Hartbeespoort dam. Some serious ear twisting on the road that goes to the bridge over the water. Again, these are easy 180km/h sweeps. And my beast is up for it. At the top of the road, a right turn, and casual drive down to the restaurant.

It's busy, and I contemplate riding a kilometer down the road to a second center, but I spot a few empty tables, and a spot for the bike in the shade, so I park. 

Going in, I turn right, as there are a few empty places in sight. At the first table on the right, a solo lady biker is seated. She motions me to sit with her. Mmmmm, okay, I take a seat. Not sure why, but I suppose it's rude to decline an invitation! 

She introduces herself as Trish, and I present myself as Max. What else :) Nice lady, chatty, had already finished her breakfast, and was finishing her non-alcoholic beer. We chatted, swapped some biking stories, mainly rally related. She rides a Kawasaki (think it's a 750cc). She's obviously single, and probably late 50's. Not too bad on the eye.

However, she is riding with Lycra leggings, and kind of lace finish?, makes them "see through"....and I know this lady hasn't been riding long, or ever fallen on the tar. And her shoes are not much of a safety feature either. It does worry me that people do not take the correct protective clothing seriously. If she has a fall, no matter how slow she ight be riding, she's leaving all of her skin on the tar!

Anyway, we got to the point where she asked for my number, under the guise of being able to send me info on local runs, rallies etc. No problem, I gave it, as I am also able to block it if need be!

Eventually my food arrives, and after a few minutes, she pays her bill and leaves. By 1.50 pm I get the first WhatsApp message - "Are you home safe?" I reply at 3pm....

10 Minutes later "Are you on Facebook?" I reply this morning, "I am, but only family and close friends." 30 minutes later I get a "Good morning pic".....

So already I am a bit annoyed, and maybe concerned - Have I collected a stalker?

The ride home was awesome. Turns out the clunk I heard is my chain needing to be tightened. They do tend to stretch over time I suppose. It was a new one I fitted, so will be happy to just take up the slack, can replace it next time.

Overall, a good day, some okay company, and some cobwebs cleared out. Now for another week.....

 

"I have loved you for 33 years"

 

Introduction:-

She walked out of the customs area into the arrivals hall, through the automated doors, and I immediately saw that the photo I had received from her was recent- she hadn't sent an old picture to try and look better than she did. "Damn, but she's gorgeous', was all I could think. She walked over to me, and I wrapped my arms around her in a warm welcome. As I held her close, I said "Welcome home sweetie!", and while her perfume filled my senses, she softly whispered in my ear, "I have loved you for 33 years"!

 

Chapter 1:-

September 1982 - It's been a hard year as far as relationships go. I've been dating a beautiful woman for about 2 years now. For the last 12 weeks I've been working on a contract about 700km from home, and we only get to see each other maybe every 3rd or 4th weekend. But we seem to be coping. It's only for another month or so, then I'll be back home. While away, I've invested in a nice solitaire diamond engagement ring, I know she likes this style, and I know her finger size, so this should go well. This weekend I'm going to propose.

Arriving home, I tell my parents about my plan, dad doesn't say much other than ask if I'm sure, mom says I'm making a mistake! Seriously? "But why would you say that Mom?" I ask. "My parents taught me that you don't marry someone who is more qualified than you are!" she replies. See, my lady has a degree, I barely finished high school - mom is old school, from Italy, and that's what she believes! I make my way to the next town, where my love lives, and on arrival find that my reception by her and her family isn't as warm as it's been in the past. Strange, as I have known most of them for more than 10 years now, and we are all family friends, in fact, I'm always treated as a family member when I'm here.

I go to my lady, and very unromantically, I take the little ring box out of my pocket, and want to propose. "No, she says, don't do that!" "Why not?" I ask. "There is someone else in my life now, I'm sorry, but wanted to wait for you to come home before I told you!"

I don't say anything, somehow I can't, so in complete shock, I turn around and walk out. The drive home is longer than ever before, my mind is in turmoil, with unimaginable thoughts coming and going. "What the hell just happened?" I'm thinking out loud, but have no answer for myself. I walk into my parents home and mom immediately sees that something is wrong, and says "I'm sorry." Strange how mom's just know.

I get a call up for military duty a week later, a 3 month camp to the SWA / Angola border, so that will take my mind off things for a while. However, even being in the war zone, with my fellow soldiers, and concentrating on landmines and trying to stay alive, or watching out for enemy movement does not get my mind off of this incident. I am torn between going back home, or volunteering to stay in the military zone. 3 months later, I'm back from military duty, I have a chunk of money in the bank, so I'm taking a 6 weeks break, going to Italy to see my family and get my mind sorted out. The trip turns into a 6 month stay, and with a little bit of thought could have been a permanent relocation.

After that romantic let down, I decide to just play the field, so to speak, casual relationships, moving from one to another, without having any expectations, not setting any expectations for the other person. I feel that it isn't something I'm ready for, and so don't want to get into any semi-permanent situation with any other girl.

 

Chapter 2:-

Early 1995 - Due to the political situation in South Africa, what with anti-apartheid movements, the local population becoming very riotous, and with the rest of the world wanting to put pressure on the ruling government to abolish apartheid, a lot of international companies are withdrawing from the country. Among them is Alfa Romeo. I drive a 1.8 Alfa Gulietta, a beautiful, reliable, and fast car. I think I'll see if I can upgrade to the 2.0lt model, before they are all sold out. I've managed to find the last one - it's in Durban, but that's okay, it's just a short 600km drive away! I've booked it, and have asked a mate to join me for a quick, long weekend trip to the coast, leaving on Thursday.

"I think you're crazy" says Alan, my mate, "They pulling out of the country, where are you going to get spare parts for this car if it breaks?" "Mine has never broken down, why would this one?" I reply, remembering that this is the exact comment my dad had made when I told him what I was doing. After a 5 and a half hour drive, we pull into to the dealership and I notice that the new car is identical in every way to the one I am driving, just has the bigger engine! That's quite cool, as no one back home is going to see the difference, and it will give me an advantage over those clowns who are always wanting to race between traffic lights!

"What's your best price?" I ask the salesman. They make me a good offer on a trade in, I manage to get finance on the spot, and 2 hours later I'm driving away. I am now the proud owner of the last 2.0 Alfa Gulietta made and sold in South Africa. "Apart from it being cleaner, and smelling new, it's the same car! Still not sure you did the right thing here." says Alan. "Well, it's done, and I just have to enjoy it." I reply.

Now to find accommodation. "Where do you want to stay?" I ask. "Anywhere" says Alan, "Just not too expensive!" So it's down to the beach front, find a 3 star hotel, and book a room for two nights, "I'll pick up the tab for the room," I tell Alan, and "You can pay for drinks!" We settle into the room, basically dump the bags on the floor somewhere, and now it's time to cruise the streets a bit, visit some pubs, get the vibe of the city, and maybe find some ladies for company.

It's Friday night, and we slamming all the night life hot spots. Beers and rum and Coke have been flowing at a mighty pace. The girls in Durban are hot, awesome, and usually approachable (read easy). We eventually make our way to the Malibu hotel where upstairs is a disco, (I can't remember the name), which apparently is the place to be seen right now. After some drinks at the pub downstairs in the same building, we head upstairs. "You do realise that at this rate, I'm probably going to spend more on our drinks than you spent on the room?" laughs Alan. "I know," I reply, "Why do you think I made the offer!" I laugh back at him. A couple of hours of drinking and dancing, and we walk out of the disco for a breather, some fresh air, and some quiet, and we sit in the lounge chairs in the entrance to the disco. Watching the passing parade of girls and guys, and I notice this little blonde bomb, with a figure to die for, walk past, towards the ladies room. A little later she walks back into the disco. When she makes her second appearance not 5 minutes later, and I catch her looking our way, something says to me that she's interested in one of us.

"Looks like the blond is hot for one of us, Alan", "Hey, she's a little bit of alright" he replies, "maybe catch her on her way back". He's not really interested as he has a girlfriend back home. So in my typical West Rand / Italian way, when she comes out of the ladies room, I call her over. "Hey, Blondie, come here for a minute". She looks over, smiles, and does just that. "What do you want?", she asks, in a soft, and very sexy voice, standing in front of me, looking ravishing. "Want to dance?" I ask, get up, take her hand, and walk her into the disco, onto the floor, and proceeded to dance. She looks over to the bar, where some people are staring back at her, and says "Those are my friends, and they are wondering who you are, for sure!" And then "Oh, and I am here with a guy, who might not be too happy to see me dancing with you!" "Where is he?" I ask, in a cocky and self assured voice. She points him out, an unassuming guy, with glasses (don't hit him I say to myself, he's wearing specs), and taking her by the hand, I walk over to him, and her friends, "Sorry bud, she's going home with me tonight, I don't suppose anyone has a problem with that?" No one answers, so I turn around, and we walk away, towards the far end of the bar, and I order drinks, rum and coke for me, and something for her. Her date just gave her a look, and walks out. Not sure if he's going to be waiting outside, or maybe come back with some friends, but somehow, I doubt it. Some of her friends come over and try to convince her that maybe it isn't a good idea to be going anywhere with this stranger, but I can see that she's already made up her mind, and just ignores their advice. At this point I think it's maybe a good idea to get her name! "So, what do your friends call you?", "Jacqui," she replies, "Jacqueline, with a q".

" Well hello there "Jacqui, with a q', I'm Max." And so now we know each other's names! She doesn't know anything about me, where I'm from, what I'm like, nothing, except now my name, but she's willing to take a chance and go with me!

The rest of the evening, and well into the late night was a blast. Some of her friends hang out with us, and get to know me, a little. They ask a lot of questions, but I manage to keep the answers short and to the point, why would I want to give them more information than I need to, and it makes for a lot more laughs for me! This lot are not really trusting this long haired, leather jacket, fat wallet guy from up north! So, time to leave, this place is closing for the night, not the first time I've closed a bar or disco - seems to be my usual trick.

Alan is at the end of the bar, almost falling asleep in his drink! Been a long night for him, but I think he's had fun! On the way to her place, he asks to be dropped off, as he's not feeling too well! We drop him off at our hotel, "Don't wait up for me" I shout, "Like I was planning to!" he replies with a grin on his face. "Ok, where we going?" I ask, as I have no idea yet where she lives, never mind I don't even know her surname! "Oh, and what's your surname? I might have to greet your folks when we get there!" "Smith", "and get on the highway heading south of the city" she replies. She's sitting in my brand new Alfa, sneaking glances my way as we are driving down the highway, and I think she's suitably impressed! "Take the next turnoff, it says 'Bluff', and keep right at the bottom of the off ramp please". We took so many turns, I'm wasn't sure I will find my way out again! Eventually we pull up outside of her home, and I tell her to wait, I always open the door for the ladies! I know, smooth move hey! She's surprised, I don't think she's heard this before, but sits still and waits. "I'll walk you down, and make sure you get in safe." "You don't have to see me in, you know", but it's past midnight, I think it's the right thing to do. We walk to the front door, and she opens it and leads me in. Both her mom and dad are there, in the lounge, waiting for her.

"Is this the time to come home?" blares her dad, but looking at me! "And why didn't you come home with your Fran?" That's her twin, she did tell me about at some point during the evening, but hell, I don't even remember if she was at the same disco! "Dad!" she says, embarrassed by his comment in front of a stranger, "With all respect, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but the time ran away from us. We were having fun, and didn't realise it was so late" I answer, trying hard to sound both respectful and sober at the same time. "I'm Max, and I have brought Jacqui home safely, and didn't drop her off on the street, but walked her in to make sure she was safe." At this point my alcohol induced bravado kicks in and "Oh, and to tell you that I'm taking her out again tomorrow!" Why I had to say all this is beyond me, I mean, no need to try and impress anyone. He splutters in disbelief, '"Who's this kid that he thinks he can talk to me like that?" "Leave it alone" says his wife, to him, and turning to me. "Thank you for bringing her home safely, we will see you tomorrow." Seem like I made a good impression here with the mom, maybe the way I handled the dad wasn't my best effort, but whatever, I'm welcome back it seems! Her dad just mumbled something under his breath, I say my goodbyes and leave.

 

Chapter 3:-

Saturday. It's been a long day, cruising the beachfront in the new car, spending some time on the beach, and in the water. Can't come all this way and not have a swim in the sea! Back to the hotel, shower, and get dressed for the night life. Alan says he will meet me at Fathers Moustache, and we can then go out from there. I leave to collect the little lady! I'm early, it's only 6pm, but I figure we can get some dinner before we go party and drinking. Her dad is nowhere to be seen, and her mom is very nice, invites me in, asks if I wanted to join them for dinner. "Thanks, but no thanks, we going for dinner before we go to the disco. So, if it's okay, and if Jacqui is ready, we can go." Once in the car, she turns to me and says "No one has ever spoken to my dad like that before!", "Oh, sorry" I reply, "Was I out of place?" "Well, I'm not sure, but my mom said 'With this one, you might want to start getting your trousseau ready my dear!' I have good laugh at that, but she doesn’t seem to think it was as funny. How could she make that comment after just having met me?

Dinner at Fathers Moustache is always good, even though it's a limited menu, being a typical bar menu. But the entertainment is also always good there, and this evening is no exception. Jacquie doesn't eat much, but then she is just little - I mean, I don't think she clocks in at 35kg! After a few drinks, the best option is to go upstairs to the same disco we met at as it's close, we don't have to drive and looking for parking, and it's a nice place. So the three of us head upstairs. Alan is on form tonight, hitting on anything in a skirt, seems like the beers have dulled his memory of a girlfriend back home!

It's way past midnight again, damn, time flies when you having fun. "I'll find my way back to the hotel", says Alan, with a gorgeous blond hanging on his arm, the two of them have been inseparable for the past four hours at least, and both are past the legal blood alcohol limit by far, but won't be driving, although the walk back to the hotel could take a lot longer than normal. Seems to me this night is going to end badly for Alan, or goodly, depends on which side you looking at it from! "Be safe, and take care - I'll knock before I come in" I say, and leave them there.

The drive home is slow, somehow I don't want this night to end. She's been a lot of fun, and easy to be with. She's appreciative, loves life, loves the beach and the sea. She's a really nice girl, and someone I know I could spend much more time with. At the house, I walk her down the stairs to the front door, and only her mom is up waiting for our return. "Thanks for letting me take her out again this evening, and again, sorry it's so late, but we really were enjoying the night." I say my goodbyes, with a promise to see her in the morning before I leave for home.

 

Chapter 4:-

This girl had left her mark on me, and what was supposed to be a weekend fling turns into a long distance relationship, across 600km, which has me driving to see her nearly every other weekend for 6 months. I put more kilometres on my new car in those 6 months, than I had done on the previous one in 3 years!

Each time we met, there was more spark, more confidence in each other. There seemed to be an attraction that went beyond the normal, more like our souls were meant to be together. Being together was easy, comfortable. Even her dad started coming round, and as for her mom, I don't think I could do anything wrong in her eyes!

At some stage she came up to Johannesburg to visit with her sister, and I picked her up at the airport. We ended up staying over at my flat, sharing a bed, but not sharing our bodies. We were comfortable just being together, and didn't feel the need for sex. Her parents have become very welcoming, and even offered for me to stay over at their home when I visit, but I don't take them up on that. Somehow, it doesn't feel like the right thing to do.

A coffee shop in the middle of Durban has become a favorite hangout for us. Even the old waiter knows us by name, and knows what we will be having to eat and drink. Such a great old guy, always has some words of wisdom to share with us. It's the Royal café or tearoom in Durban city center, has been here for years. We spend hours just chatting, laughing, sharing a piece of cake, having a lunch, or snack, and soft drinks. The hours pass by in a flash, and soon enough it's time to head back home. A very special place indeed.

It's been six months now that we have been dating. My work is suffering as I miss out on Saturday time, so my income is also taking strain. Although I have qualified in my trade, the current rate of pay does not really provide for these long drives every second weekend. I sit her down for a serious chat. "I can't keep driving down every weekend to see you, it's costing me a bomb, and I'm losing out on Saturday work time as well. Why don’t you move to Johannesburg?" She works at the SAPO, and so could easily ask for a transfer to Johannesburg, or even the town where I live. "Why don't you move to Durban?" she counters. "Well, there isn't much opportunity for a tradesman in Durban, so finding work won't be easy. I can't earn the kind of money I'm making in the West Rand, and it's expensive to live in Durban." "I can't move to Johannesburg now" she replies, and I don't hear her reason, I'm already blocking out the problem in my mind, but probably something to do with her parents and her siblings, specifically her twin.

Our relationship faded from then on, till I stopped going to see her. Somehow we always kept in touch over the years, an occasional phone call, on birthdays, or when she just happened to think of me, or me of her. We moved on, found other partners, got married, had kids.

 

Chapter 5:-

It's just over 10 years later, and she calls to say she is now living in Pretoria. I work for a multinational IT company, and am on the road most of the time. On the odd occasion when I'm in her area, I pop in to say hello, take her for lunch, catch up. It's always a special meeting up, but, we don't cross any boundaries, recognizing the fact that we both have spouses we had dedicated ourselves to. "It's always so nice to see you, and to catch up", she says, "Likewise" I reply. "How's the kids?", "All good, and yours?" I ask. "Fine thanks, always so helpful, and taking care of mommy." And that's about the total chat about each other's family. When we do meet, it's like long lost friends, but also like friends who regularly see each other. There is no crazy wanting of each other, yet a simple enjoyment of the company of someone who was very special at one point in your life. Lots of laughs, a simple quick meal, then move on, till next time. Somehow, we never discussed out marital situations, just get updated on how the kids are doing, how work is going, how she misses the sea, and how I still want to live there one day. She is still beautiful, just more mature. She seems to be living her life around her child, as she is always taking him to the zoo, the museums, special sports events, etc. These were her favorite conversations. I must add, that most of my chats are also about my children, and their achievements and successes.

Not once did she even mention that she was single / divorced at the time. It could have been an ace she held she might have tried to play, but never did.

 

Chapter 6:-

2015, and another 20 plus years have passed. The world has progressed to cellphone, so we are able to easier get hold of each other, send a message, etc. She calls one morning, out of the blue. I'm at work having managed to get employment after almost a year. Things on the employment front have been tough since I left IBM after about 17years. I had done very well there, but they went on a big drive to implement the Black Economic Empowerment policy, and also to get more women on their staff, so I was one of the fall guys, and got retrenched. Didn't think it would be so hard to find another job, but boy was I wrong!

There was no birthday, nor any special event or reason, but I later figured she had probably read into some of my stuff on my Facebook profile, and probably thought something was up. We chatted a bit, this and that. "Where are you?" I ask, "In Dubai." "What are you doing there?" "Living here, it's a long story, but, what's happening in your life?" she asks. I tell her I'm going through a divorce, after 26 years of marriage. Not one I want, but there was no changing my soon to be ex's mind. Jacqui was silent, for a long time, then "I am so sorry, but what the hell is she doing that for?" "She says it's because she doesn't love me anymore, but I have found out she's been cheating on me for a long, long time!" I reply. Again a long silence, and then, "How can she be so stupid? I'm flying home early next year to visit my sister and the family, and would like to meet with you if it's okay." "Of course," I say, "Let me know when, and I'll fetch you at the airport."

We chat on and off for the next few months. My divorce is finalized, the ex moves out, leaves me with the kids. I'm again unemployed, but somehow still manage to get by, even get my youngest through last quarter and final year at University.

In conversations, and messages, she updates me on how she ended up in Dubai. Seems she had got divorced when her child was still very small. She had never told me before, not even during our meetings in Pretoria. She had maintained a reasonable relationship with the boy's father, for her child's sake, and they got on well enough. At some point they had co-habitated (her words). As the child was finishing high school and going to go to varsity, the ex had got a job offer in Dubai, and asked her to go with him. She couldn't if she wasn't married to him, so she remarried her child's dad. And that's how it went down. She was now, according to her, stuck in a relationship she wasn't happy with, neither of them actually wanting to be together, but neither of them wanting to be the parent that would disappoint their child! (again, her words).

 

Chapter 7:-

I leave early, as you never know what the traffic is going to be like driving to the airport, and arrive early. I have a cappuccino, then take a walk around looking at the new layout of the airport arrivals area, watch a guy who seemed to be secretly watching and following me (this did make me a bit nervous, and I really don't know why), and watch for the arrival of her flight to be announced, knowing it will take at least to another hour after touchdown for her to come through the doors. Another coffee or two, a sandwich, read a newspaper or two. Time is really going slowly.

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I look into her eyes, that are now slowly filling with tears. "What did you say?" I ask. "I have loved you for 33 years," she replies. It takes me a while to absorb this statement, all the while I'm just holding her close, breathing in her feminism. I have been divorced for just on 6 months now, and hugging a beautiful lady that smells so nice, is a special moment for me. I keep holding her for another minute or so, then I step back, and take her bags from her. "I need to get some airtime for my phone", she says. "There's a store just around the corner, I'll wait at the coffee shop" I reply. While I wait, I think about the implications of her statement. How could this even be possible? We have both moved on, married other partners, had children. Our worlds have completely changed. I'm looking 10 years older than I am, due to stress, and weight loss during my divorce. I'm down from 90kg to 72kg, definitely don't look anything like I used to. Her words churn around in my head, and I can make no sense of it. I'll have to wait and ask her, later.

She calls her twin, confirms she's landed safely, and will be coming through to them on the Gautrain. But I offer to take her, as it isn't easy to drag suitcases and stuff around on the train. She agrees, and we make our way to the car park. "Where's the Alfa?" she asks, with a naughty smile on her face, eyes twinkling! "Ah, sold that a long time ago, sorry!" As is my norm, I open the door for her, and we leave.

It's still early, so I suggest we spend some time driving around to she can see what has changed, and what hasn't, while she's been away. It's also going to give me more time with her, and to try and understand that comment she made when we met earlier. "I'd like to see some places" she replies. The trust is still there - she really shouldn't trust to easily! So I take the highway towards where I now live, as it's the same town I lived in when she had stayed over at my flat many, many years ago. The drive itself is, well, special. She coyly keeps glancing in my direction, making small talk, and I'm all the while pointing out sights that she wouldn't have seen for many years. That's Johannesburg CBD on the skyline, and the Carlton is still the highest building there." "That's Sandton, just exploded over the past 20 to 25 years, and is the place to be if you go shopping, or want to live with the rich and famous." In between she comments about the traffic, or how fast some cars are travelling, asks about my mom, my sister, all people she had met so many years ago. "how's Alan?" she asks. I slow down a bit, Look across to her, "He passed away just over a year ago. Had cancer, and fought it bravely, but just couldn’t beat it." "Oh, I'm so sorry" she replies. "And what about Mr. Van?" "He passed in 2020, old age, had a heart attack." We drive in quiet for a while, but slowly we start to chat again, comfortable in each other's company. Her earlier whisper in my ear isn't mentioned again, not for quite some time.

 

Realizing I'm needing to put in fuel, I drive into a filling station just off the highway. While the guy is busy filling up the tank, on impulse, I lean over and kiss her. She doesn't resist, nor pull away, she just puts her hand behind my head and holds me there. I realize that maybe this was not a good idea, things could just go downhill from here. Nothing is said, I pay, and we drive on. The silence for a short while is so thick you can taste it. I take her past the flat where I had lived when she stayed over that night so many years ago, past some of the restaurants we had frequented, and then drive her to my new home, where I had raised my family, and where I now live with my two sons. I make us some coffee, and we sit and chat on the deck for a while. Just chit chat, the view, how nice the house looks, the fact that it's so big…..Everything, but not that kiss, nor the comment at the arrivals lounge at the airport. Somehow, neither of us is wanting to open this can of worms, or at least, be the first one to do so. I take her through the house, showing her each room, as I am very proud of what I had designed and built. Eventually we get to the main bedroom, and as we walk into the dressing room, I pull her close, and kiss her. This is a risky situation, we are alone at home, I'm longing for feminine affection, she's 'loved me for 33 years'! I pick her up, damn, she still so tiny, and sit her on the dressing table, and then all hell breaks loose! We just can't keep our hands off of each other. It's a moment of passionate madness, nothing else matters, just us, and this moment in time. It's a mad scramble to get as much of each other as possible, without, it would seem, crossing any sexual boundaries, but that's coming fast. I take her by the hand, lead her towards the bed, and put her down on her back, on the bed. I lie down on her, and we continue with the madness, kissing, groping, feeling the heat. Then some sanity prevails. I look down into her eyes, and see complete submission, it's all up to me now, do or don't, it's my call. The 33 years of dreams, the sensual meeting this morning, our chats, the flirting, and now alone in this place, she seems to have lost all her resistance, and I am about to lose mine. "And now" she says, "What are you going to do?" "Well, I know what I'd like to do" I replied, and she just smiled - no argument from her

I walked away, went to the dressing room to get a jacket, then picked her up off of the bed, and led her downstairs. "I think it's better if we don't get into that situation, maybe we should get something to drink, sit outside and enjoy the view." We have something to drink, sitting next to each other on the bench, me having a much needed smoke, or three, neither saying a word, just appreciating the view, and, in my case, rethinking what had just happened upstairs.

Then this question, out of nowhere - "Why didn't you take advantage of the situation that night I stayed over?" she asked, and my response was "I wasn't sure that you were the one for me, and didn't want us to get into a place either of us might not be comfortable with afterwards." It sounded strange to me too, saying that, but somehow I knew I meant it.

I think we both realize that although it was something we both desperately want, this is not the time nor the place. I'm on a rebound after my divorce, and now have this beautiful person available to me, and she, well, apart from maybe nearly realizing her dreams of the past 33 years, is still married!

Eventually we leave as it's lunch time, and we both could do with a meal, and other people around us. Just to keep things 'normal'! Lunch was a semi-quiet affair, I had a burger, she nibbled on hers. We were on the way to her siblings home town, via a long route, and I suggest a coffee shop stop. Not that either of us wants coffee, but again, just spending time together, but in public, it's safer this way. Sitting in the coffee shop, and I can't hold back anymore. "What's going on?" I ask. "I don't know," she replies. "This isn't me, and I didn't plan any of this, and as my marriage broke up because of infidelity, I don't want to be doing the same thing!" I say. "I know, but what are we to do? It's obvious we want to be with each other…." she says. "It seems as if the universe is against us" she says. "When I was available, you were not, not you are, and I am not!" "so, we need to keep control of our emotions then, and not let this get out of hand, not that it hasn't already!" I reply.

As the sun is setting, I drive her to the Gautrain station closest to where her twin lives, drop her off, and wait in the shadows to ensure she's okay till her lift arrives, then drive home, alone, confused and maybe a little surprised at myself.

 

Chapter 8:-

We speak often over the next few days, either on WhatsApp or on the phone. The calls are always alluring, flirting, testing the waters, from both sides. It's now a week later, and I arrange to pick her up at her twins house. She tells them a friend is fetching her for dinner. I meet her outside the complex gate, and she's looking fabulous. This lady just knows how to get to me. Dinner is at a great restaurant about 35km away, as we don't want to risk running into anyone who knows her. She is great to be with, great to be seen with, a joy to the heart, and has given me a renewed sense of being needed. This is my weak spot now - the need to be needed, to know that someone out there actually wants to be with me. For her, it's more of reliving her dreams she had been having for the past decades, to be with that one guy she thinks she loves.

This evening is followed by several such evenings. And even with a trip to the nearby mall on a Saturday. We drive to see my mom, and it seems that mom remembered her.(Mom has dementia, so her memory isn't what it should be, also it's been 33 years since they met). It's so special spending time together, but with always the knowledge in the back of my mind that she is actually out of bounds. We never go further than hugs, kisses, spending time together, but the want is real.

This time spent together repeated itself over the next 3 years, every time she came to visit her twin, staying for 6 to 8 weeks at a time. Except, I didn't get to fetch her at the airport again, as that didn't go down to well with the family. They said that it might not be safe for her alone on the train, with her luggage. On her second visit here, her twin found out what was going on, well, some of it. Sister knew we were meeting, seeing each other. And somehow, they devised a way for me to visit at her home, getting past her hubby with the story that we were friends from days gone by. Turns out he was dating her twin in Durban, while I was dating Jacqui! And we had never met! Go figure!

It has made it easier to see her, but under strictly controlled conditions - there is no way we could get hands on in front of the family! So we often go for dinner, or to "visit" mutual friends from days gone by! She remains so much fun to be with. Slowly she's starting to share her problems she was having with her husband. Problems that had started as soon as they had arrived in Dubai. And how she had no escape from it. Telling her to leave him didn't help, as she didn't want to disappoint her child who was so happy that his parents were finally back together again.

"I'm not happy, and we just tolerate each other." " He drinks a lot, and is always moody." " He spends too much time at work." " I just spend my time shopping." "All he does is watch sports on TV with my child." "I even go to the beach alone, because he's not interested." This is the summary of her situation, and I can see that she's not happy at all.

 

Later, I write a poem, "Warrior Woman", basically for her, as she strikes me as someone who is constantly in a battle of sorts, yet, keeps going, even though she's on her own. And subsequently I have written a book, based on the poem (still writing it….). The poem has been well received by all who have read it. The book, although not anything to do with her specifically, is also looking good, currently being reread, changed, added to….will it ever be finished?

 

Chapter 9:-

Conversations between us while she is overseas are frequent, and often she would make a plan to get to a place where she can call and just chat. On the beach, at the mall, anywhere.

Eventually their contract in Dubai was been terminated. They had been there for 8 or 10 years, and it was time to leave. Initially her husband wanted to go to some insert exotic location to retire, but she insisted on coming home to South Africa. They have a place in the Eastern Cape where they used to live, and moved in there.

 

That was 5 or 6 years ago, but I never got to see her again. Our conversations have petered out, she doesn't share anything with me anymore. Her excuse is she doesn't want to bother me with her problems. Other than letting her know I was now a grandfather, and sending her a photo of the little ones, I have not made any attempt to restart our conversations.

We dream, we live in hope, and we look for opportunities, but if the universe is working against you, (her words), then things won't go your way. You learn, and you move on. It's been 40 years now since we first met, a life time for many, a moment for me.

 

An adventure of life, a learning curve, a test of restraint, and a lifelong moment of friendship.

 

33 years later - And then there you were

I waited for what seemed forever

Then there you were, walking through those doors

Both of us apprehensive, yet excited

We hugged, I kissed you, you kissed me back

 So beautiful, I didn't know what to do with myself

Your shy smile, your laughing eyes

I knew then that this was going to be difficult

Spending a few hours together

 Hesitant at first, talking, looking at each other

Smiling, nervous laughter

Talking became easier, like it was meant to be

Laughing, asking, sharing

 Holding hands, a little kiss, that smile

Your eyes, your soft lips, your hair

Damn, this was going to make me crazy

Just beautiful and comfortable

Sitting on my deck, you facing me

Sliding closer, up, onto my lap

Kissing, cuddling, so soft, warm, so right

So beautiful, and yet so wrong

That long late night drive

The cold air, and your white coat

The station, the call home

The wait, watching, keeping you safe

And then, then you were gone

The visits, silently slipping away

The adrenaline of the secrecy

Always fun, warm, exciting, you

 It just was meant to be

But then, it seems, it wasn't

So I sit here with my memories

And see you even in my dreams

But life got in the way,

Once before, long ago

And, it would seem, it did it again

So beautiful, So lovely, So unavailable