Another week gone...

Another week has flown past - I have no idea why the weeks feel so much shorter, but I don't mind too much, as the weekends come around faster.

That said, I'm also not really getting anything done at home, and that's a problem. Not because I don't have anything to do, but because I just don't have the energy for it.

Apart from day to day "must do", like laundry washing, packing away the laundry after it's been ironed, making something to eat, I don't really do much else.

I need to start clearing out clutter and junk. A whole basement full of stuff that needs to be disposed off, a bar area that seriously needs clearing and cleaning, a study that filled with books, cd's, and stuff.

My problem is I can't just throw stuff away - It's either I think it might have some value (money), or be of value to someone else who could really use it.

However, where do you go to sell shit and not get screwed? And, where do you post stuff that you want to give away, without having too many people come round to bug you at home?

A vicious cycle.... and one I have no interest in....

Later all...

 My weekend.

Friday was a damp squib - went to work, then home. Stopped in at the club, waited for the joker draw, then went home. I don't really have much energy for doing anything these days - been a while now, like a shallow depression.

Saturday, first time in months, I managed to sleep late. Woke up at 7.46 to see a message from my wing man that he wanted to ride that morning, and e should meet at 8 am at the Shell just at the Diepsloot offramp.! I messaged back that I just woke up, but would meet him at 9.

Showered, dressed, made coffee. Sat outside and had a couple of smokes, did my morning stuff, got the bike, went to the garage to fill up, and rode out. I stopped at the Shell garage at 8.46!

Wingman arrived at 8.51, and we drove off to the Zwartkops raceway where there was a Outdoor lifestyle expo.

Spent a few hours there, had something to eat, and eventually left. Wingman had to get home as he was flying out to the USA later that day. I went home, and decided to visit my godson at the rehab!

He's been there for over a year already. I have only visited 3 times before, even though they have a family visit day the first Sat of every month. Anyway, I went, and surprised him, as I had not let him know I was coming.

He was very surprised, and happy to see me. We visited for at least 3.5 hours, if not longer, and then I had to leave.

He is doing so well. Much better than I ever remember seeing him. He's now a volunteer at the rehab. He's in charge of the kitchen, cooking 80 meals 3 times a day. He's in charge of the vegetable garden, with assistance from some of the other inmates, and of the animals, again with assistance. They have a few cows, sheep, horsed, and several dogs on the property.

He's also been told that they want him to run the kitchen in the next place they are currently planning - a rehab for overseas clients. There he will be a staff member, earn a salary, and have accommodation on side - a separate house! And he's excited, as that means he won't have to go out into the real world, look for work, face too many struggles, with the ever present threat of access to drugs. He says it's his safe place - and if he's ever feeling bad, will always have immediate access to a councilor! Overall, a win win. I am pleased.

Sunday went to church, then to visit my mom, and then to see the grandchildren, and my daughter (in-law).

A nice visit, it always is - but the kids are hectic. Don't anyone try and tell me that separated parents does not affect the kids. And don't ever tell me "Well they don't do that when they with me!" They act up so much, it's crazy. But then, mom's home is their home, dad's home, where they spend 2 nights a week maybe, is a place where they get spoilt rotten, so there is no need to act up to get their own way! And that's the challenge. Those of you who know what I mean will know, those who don't, well, give me a call and I will explain.

Overall an okay weekend. As I write this I still have not heard back about my request for a meeting. I think somehow they know they fucked up, and are hoping it will go away.

More later

 Next update - 

The place where I work, well, let me get into some background (it's been posted here somewhere before)..

I started here helping out an elderly couple that had started and owned the business since around 1970, give or take a year or two. He was very ill, and needed someone to help with the maintenance of the machines. I was unemployed, and happy to work 2 days a week!

Move along a year or so, and Covid came and went, kind of, and he got it, and passed, 27/06/2021. A very sad situation.

His wife had to keep the business going, asked me to come in full time, and run it for her as the manager. Meantime, she was looking to sell the company. There had been long time discussions with a buyer, and he again showed interest, but kept delaying, questioning the value, etc. and drove the price right down before he made an offer - so low that had I known what he was offering, I would have counter offered and bought it myself (had a financier available who was willing to put up the money). Anyway, he made it a clause in the deal that he would only close the deal if I signed a 2 year contract to stay on as manager - so I used the chance to negotiate a good salary, and signed. 

The new boss was okay, I saw him twice in the 18 months he owned the place, basically he trusted me to run it for him, and I did. End-to-end.

Then he sold it, at the same time as he sold his other company, which just happens to be our biggest client (basically two companies, one owner, keeping the work, and Rand, in-house).

Now, the new owner is an African - he bought the companies with invested money (DTI), so it cost him nothing. His plan is to create a corporate - and whilst doing so he has managed to destroy both companies! Back to the DTI for another loan, which it looks like he's going to get!!!

Anyway, my contract of employment was for 2 years. In April, when the 2 HR ladies (said tongue in cheek) came here to introduce themselves, I made sure to let them know my contract was due to expire on 31 May, and gave them a copy, and asked them to discuss a renewal, or whatever, before then. I heard nothing back!

While they were here though, we bumped heads over a couple of issues, which told me that a) they were not as bright as they tried to make out, and b) they hadn't done any research on small engineering companies and their policies in South Africa. So they left here not too happy with my "attitude"!

Two weeks ago, Thursday 21 Aug, I turned 66. On the Friday afternoon I received an email from the GM at the sister company (it would seem he's also my GM, but i have never formally been told, neither have the staff where I work). I just said he wanted to meet with me the next Monday to discuss my contract. 

It screwed my weekend, causing me much tension and stress, as I didn't know if he was talking to renew it, or end it. However, I managed to remain relatively calm bout it.

Come Monday, and I get stuff sorted at the office, and drive through to meet with hi. I walk into his office, say hi, and he says oh, I'm not meeting with him anymore, I am meeting with the CEO (the dude that owns both companies). No problem - I walk to his office, knock go in and say hi, and sit down.

He  was pleasant, we discussed current production challenges, we discussed the stock sorting I have been doing to get rid of the stuff we do' want / need / use. And then he said he heard I had just had a birthday, and what was my plan> I said I'm happy to keep working - he replied that we should start looking for a replacement, someone who can work alongside me, I can train / show the ropes, and he said, we will look for someone around January. I said fine by me, someone over 50 preferably, with mechanical / fitter and turned background, some drawing experience, and good HR skills. He agreed, and we left it there.

Oh, I recorded the whole meeting on my cellphone - he was not aware of this, but no matter. I have the whole discussion on record.

Friday, 30th, I get an email from the HR consultant - requesting I print and sign the two attached documents, and send them back to here asap.

1) Basically giving me 24 hours notice that they are retiring me because I turned 60 6 years ago! and 

2) A employment contract for the period 01 Sept till 31 Dec, during which time I will be expected to continue with my work, and train my replacement!

Well, needless to say, this email fucked up my whole weekend! My head was in top gear, thinking through all possible scenarios, what I was going to say / do, how I was going to get around this.

However, I spent most of Sunday doing research, and found out a lot of stuff:-

a) There is NO law in South Africa that says you have to retire at 60 (or any other age for that matter).

b) It is not a company policy at Rhombic that you must retire at 60 - as it is, I started here at 61, and signed the 2 year contract at 64!

c) My agreement says they need to give me as a minimum 30 days notice (not 24 hours).

I sent an email off on Monday morning to the CEO and the HR lady (not the HR Consultant), and asked for an urgent meeting. I got a notification back that both had read the email by 2pm same day. As i write this, I have had no communication back from either of them, or the HR Consultant asking me where my signed documents might be!

On Tuesday I met with an acquaintance - who just happens to be a hot shot HR Consultant - to look through the situation with me, and to vet my prepared response / challenges, and discuss my options.

First thing he did was take out all the emotional points I had written down (go figure), but it's right. Then we checked my contract, discussed options....

Next step, send an email on Friday, just before I knock off, asking why I have not heard back!

Then, my position is going to be as follows:- (apart from pointing out that there is no legal requirement for retirement)

a) As they had been made aware of the fact that my contract was expiring, and had for several months done nothing about it, it is reasonable for me to assume that my contract was renewed for a further 2 years.

b) The tone of the mail sent by the GM also gave me an indication that this was to renew.

c) How come only after they learned that I had turned 66 did they suddenly want to get rid of me, or was that just the opening they though they were waiting for?

d) If they still want to get rid of me, what they should have done was give me 30 days notice. And then, we could sit down and negotiate my contract for the next period where I train the new guy - during which time I would probably add 50% to my current salary!

But I'm not giving them that option. In my humble opinion, my contract is renewed for 24 months - the CCMA would probably find it is a reasonable expectation - they would probably be forced to make me a settlement offer - probably.

As it is, they currently have two scenarios on the go:-

1) The had a temp receptionist for over 6 months - a white girl. They interviewed a host of black girls for the post, and then gave her notice and employed one of the black girls. The white girl consulted with a labor lawyer, as the law says if you have been a temp in a position for a certain amount of time, you should have first option when the position needs to be filled with a permanent person! Now that the company has had a meeting with her and her lawyers, they want to settle out of court - she's adamant, 12 months salary or they go to labor court!

2) The warehouse manager, a very competent WHITE guy, had some scrap shelving lying around. It was in the way, and a safety hazard (in case someone tripped over it). He got a dealer to come in, weight it, bought it from him, issued an invoice, and paid cash. The guy took the paperwork, and the cash, and gave it to the people in accounts. No problem. EXCEPT - sometime in July, the company issue a procedure document for the disposal of scrap. It's a 7 page document, requires copious amounts of signatures and approvals, and multiple quotes - from CFM and CEO and GM...seriously.

When this was discussed at the time, they said they would go and relook at it, and simplify it. Meantime he sold the scrap. Now that have suspended him based on the fact he did not follow the process! Never mind that they said they would be reviewing it! Let's see how this turns out.

At the end of the day, it seems they are doing their best to get rid of all the white employees. Seeing as these are the people who have been there the longest, and know the business and how things should operate, they will eventually find themselves with a boatload of expensive black employees who don't know what they are doing, and shit will collapse.

At current rates, I estimate these 2 company will close it's doors by latest June 2026.

More to follow as shit unveils.....

 Spring has sprung

So it's spring, 2025 - time is just flying past.

Work is a shithole right now. For the past 9 months we have not got enough work to cover our costs. As of last week, end August, we have no work, as in ZERO! And all because the clown who bought out our company, and biggest client, decided to build a corporate (this out of a small to medium electrical parts supplier, and a small engineering company)!

So he has blown all the capital on shit - Safety and Health Manager, Quality Assurance Manager, replaced a very capable and successful WHITE sales manager with an incompetent non-white one. Hired a couple of HR Consultants at R50k a month (for 2 days a week work), and that have done nothing other than cause trouble - doing their best to work out the white staff!

And what does he have - about 3 times the overheads hs should have, with no money to buy materials, so we don't get orders because their delivery times exceed 7 weeks by now, and the client are going to the competition.

The sad part is that his company, before he bought it, di R8 m a month, at 35% GP! We did between 500 and 750 ka month, at around 20 - 25 % GP.

Now that's all gone. He got financing from the DTI for the initial purchase, and is now getting further financing from them - to no avail though. And he knows, if it all goes belly up, he walks away. The DTI will write off the debt!

Stupid frigging darkie with asperations of being the CEO of his own Corporate!

More to follow on this subject!

 Relationships

Spent some time this past weekend thinking about my personal relationship with my kids. I include my two sons, and current daughter in law (current, as the next one will only qualify in about a year).

So, right now, I probably have the best relationship with my daughter in law (daughter), the mother of my three grandchildren. I see them and her basically every Sunday, when I visit, and we have lunch together, and me and her do quite a bit of talking, about the kids, schooling etc. , the progress the baby is making and her situation. Some weeks she's doing okay, other weeks she's not so okay. It all revolves around how her week went with regards her interactions with her husband, my eldest son, from whom she's currently separated.

Interestingly, his attitude towards her seems to be influenced by whether his mother is visiting him or not. She lives down by the coast somewhere, but comes up every 2 weeks or so to visit, ad help him with the kids when he has them stay over at his home. When she's here, his attitude towards my daughter sucks! 

His communication with me is also restricted and strained. He was in the USA attending the WSOP for 7 weeks. When he got back, I got a WhatsApp message which said, landed safely. Then nothing for 10 days. Then a "I miss you dad" message. Then nothing. I eventually made the effort to contact him, and went to see him. Couldn't spend much time together as he was in the middle of a tournament, but we at least managed to catch up some.

After that, again nothing. But it's okay, as I know his mother has a big influence on his life right now, and he knows how I feel about her and her opinion on the separation, so he's writing it down to that being the problem.

My younger son is now living with his fiancé. They have their own lives to live, but even there I have seen less and less communication. They always busy. That's fine. But then don't expect me to always be available when you need something. Doesn't work that way. I'm more likely to take a ride out on the bike alone these days, where we always used to ride out together. But I understand, as he's in a precarious situation right now. Finances are strained, he's sold his bakkie, and has been using my other sons spare car, but that's now going to be taken back as the older one sold his primary car, and need the spare car back! And he's not in the position to get another one, I just hope he doesn't decide to sell his bike!

So, I have "3" kids. The 2 biological kids - relationship is so-so. The married into my family kid - relationship is awesome! Go figure.

And then 3 grandchildren who are the light of my life!

07/07/1977 - Snippets from a fading memory - Part 5

Sweeping the "Witpad" was one thing. You quickly learned the "show", and could often spook drive in the tracks which were less than a day old. However,  the lesser used side roads, two tracks were another story. On one sweep, we got a signal. I slowly cleared the area around the signal, and uncovered a very badly deteriorated cheese mine. Something didn't look right, and we decided to check this one out properly. No pulling this out with a rope. One guy held the mine in place, while I slowly dug out underneath it. There we found a contraption the led back the way we came. We secured the mine, and started to clear behind it, towards the vehicles, in the direction we had already swept. About 10 meters back (after having moved the vehicles back to a safe place, we uncovered a box that contained another 2 cheese mines. So, their plan was that the first vehicle would set off the mine we found, and the activation would then set off the secondary mine possibly under the second vehicle. This was a mess, and we spent more than a few hours clearing that up. Glad we found it though. Could have been nasty of someone had decide to spook that road.

The sunsets up north were beautiful. I have several photos somewhere (which don't exist) of the sun setting with spectacular colours. And with the sparse vegetation, some great settings could be had.

No one said we didn't have fun. At some point the Sappers decided to booby trap the "go-carts". This was easy - take the gunpowder out of a few R1 rounds, place in tinfoil and roll op. Then, using old mine detector batteries, and claymore wire, a clothes peg and a piece of cardboard, a quick booby trap was made, and fitted to the "go-cart". SO when someone lifted the lid, the roll of gunpowder at the bottom of the pit would "explode"! No harm done to the soldier, other than he might have crapped in his pants!

On one occasion, we had been out of base camp for a couple of weeks. (Might have been on one of my camps). We had swept deep into Angola, and then found ourselves without anymore drinking water (someone forgot to refill the water tank on the buffels). We had been warned that we could not drink from any of the wells we passed, as there was a possibility of poisoning by the locals. SO while we set up a small water purification tank near to a shauna, we had to find something to drink. I was the stupid one who remembered that the wheels on the Buffel, including the spare wheel, were filled with water. I tapped off some from the spare wheel, and took a swig. Trust me when I tell you I was the only one to do that. My face, and the fact that I almost immediately threw up told everyone else not to try it. By nightfall I had gypo guts like never before! Luckily by the next morning my system had cleared itself of the brak water, and we had some drinkable water in the purification tank. Didn't try that trick again!

During one of stints up there, our troop fell out with the infantry commander of the base (I have no idea what rank he was or could have been). Anyway, he called us to come to where his tent was, and to "tree aan" outside his door, with rifles. When we were ready, he came out, and informed us that for whatever it was we had done, we were going to have an "opfok" drill session! Seriously - here, on the border, where people can disappear at any time, where men can tilt and do kak stuff, he wanted to "opfok" drill us? Wasn't going to happen on my watch - so I turned my R1 upside down, and buried it barrel first into the sand! That guy lost his mind! He went berserk, ordered his guys to arrest me, and said he would have me tried for multiple indiscretions, least of which was abuse of government property! I know I was in shit already, so in a low growling voice I told him what would happen if he persisted with his demands and threat. The rest of our guys were dismissed and told to return to their tent. I had to remain. Just me, this grumpy and crazy guy, and some of his infantry. I'm not sure of the events after that, but I'm still here, and I wasn't shipped out of there, so couldn't have been too worse. That infantry troop / platoon were shipping back to SA a few days later, so all I had to do was lie low for a few days till he left.

There was an evening we held a braai (goat) for one guy who turned 21! Sias had the honour of breaking the goats neck after someone tried to cut its throat with a blunt knife! He then proceeded to skin and gut it, and cut it into pieces to braai.

Fly over's by our air force was always a big thing. I loved to see those pilots doing their thing in the air with those beautiful planes. And as for the choppers, made my day when they were in the area. Flying out on one to leapfrog another unit who needed to be relieved was a highlight for me. Those pilots were awesome, brave and skilled. I remember seeing one take off at Ondangwa, flying low over the airstrip to chase away a stray dog. Damn thing kept coming back, so the pilot flew up to about 100 or 150 meters, and some Rambo in the back shot the dog! Damn, now that takes some doing!

Watching the Flossie come in to land from high up, the sudden swoop down towards the ground, a quick correction and then sit on the tarmac - and then, after take off, flying just above the tree tops.

I THINK THERE MIGHT BE ONE MORE CHAPTER TO THIS SAGA

 

  07/07/1977 - Snippets from a fading memory - Part 4

NOTE - I might be writing down stuff that happened during one of my many camps up north. Memories can be jumbled, and time lines have lost all meaning.

Another funny  moment - we swept the infantry and medics to a local clinic. There the medics would check out the locals, and dispense medicine as required. Sometimes, one would approach us and ask if we had headache tablets. On more than one occasion, we dispensed out malaria tablets, and one time I recall someone giving the man a s-bit - you, those things we used to make fires with… and told him to chew it and wash it down with water. I'm sure that guy had gypoguts for at least a week after that!

Malaria tablets were not popular among the troops. Stories abounded that they made you tan yellow! and due to the fact that any off time was spent tanning, we were not up for a yellow finish! I don't know if it was in fact true, but I never took a malaria tablet, and now realise how risky that was.

Talking about tanning - another stupid thing I remember doing was smearing brake fluid on my arms and legs. Got a better and darker tan! How dumb was that? No after effects that I know of though. But we did have dark tans! Another photo that does not exist somewhere in my drawer.

A nice trip was sweeping up to one of the water towers. I don't know if it was Alpha tower or what. Once there, and the infantry did their thing, we would climb up to the top, and get inside the tower and swim. That water was ice cold, and so welcoming in the heat of the day. If I remember, it was also near to a mission station called Santa Clara (forgive me if I get the names wrong). That place was suspected of giving aid to the enemy, so was raided on several occasions. We just stood by in case we were needed to clear any explosives or arms cache. Never happened. I think those nuns were just too smart!

The kuka shops were also the targets for raids, as they were known to support the enemy with food and money. On one raid, we found hundreds of Rands stuffed into the cartons that wine bottles come in. The owner only explained that he didn't have a bank (the nearest one was probably Ondangwa), and so kept his earnings in the shop! Not sure what happened, other than we all got free cold drinks and some tinned foods.

The guys from my section were renowned for the speed at which we could sweep a road. I have no idea what it was anymore, but I do know that eventually the infantry guys walking in the bush next to us to give us cover were complaining, and many times we swept with no cover, and the infantry guys rode on the buffels! Anyone remember how fast we would sweep?

Once we were overtaken by a speeding local. The Ford F100 and F250 was a very popular bakkie in that area. It wasn't long, and we heard the boom of a landmine going off, somewhere a few kilometres ahead of where we were.  We made the decision to get on the vehicles and drive on the spoor of the bakkie, to get to the scene as soon as possible. Once the wreckage was in view, probably 150 meters away, we stopped, and resumed sweeping, up to the crater, and all around it to check for any secondary mines. As soon as it was clear, we found that the driver had not survived, no surprise I suppose, and settled down to have lunch, right there, next to the road, next to the crater and wreckage. It's actually surreal now that the incident did not have any effect on us, other than we didn't find the mine, it was detonated. The radio guys called the incident I, as we knew the base would be worried. They would have heard the explosion and seen the plume of rising smoke and worried that it might have been one of our vehicles.

One memory from Eenhana was when we were there with the mounted division - this was the guys who rode on horseback. I was friends with one of the guys, and so used to help him in the evenings when we took the horses to feed and drink. The highlight was riding them back to the stables bareback! I had ridden horses once or twice before, but riding bareback, holding onto their mane was another experience.

Maybe, with a bit of thought, more to follow.

 Sorry it's better for you that way

And that's the last message, via WhatsApp that I received, 15 June 2025

Sorry, It's better for you that way!

I don't think so.

It's your defense mechanism.
It's because you know if we meet again, you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself.
It's because you know that with me, anything can happen.
It's because I can make you feel things you didn't think possible
It's because you know I could make you do things you didn't think possible.
It's because it's better for YOU that way!

The above are just some of the response I wanted to send as a response to that message, and I have thought of many more, but I didn't send a response, as none would make a difference anyway. Some people have the strength to walk away, to resist, and good for them. Maybe it's better for both of us, as the reality is we shouldn't be going down that street anyway.

So, for my next trick... I have a few more episodes of my time in the SADF which I will be posting soon.

 

  07/07/1977 - Snippets from a fading memory - Part 3

Many of the events experienced during my time up north will remain unsaid.  I rather write about the good times, the fun we had, and the support for each other. War is war, weather it's conventional, or bush, soldiers do what they have been trained to do. Soldiers kill, soldiers die. At the end of the day, those that come back home are no longer the boys that were conscripted initially, and they carry their scars inside.

One day, after a week of sweeping through distant roads, we were on our way back to camp and were driving past some infantry guys. They asked us to stop and see if they could catch a ride. As we had swept the road earlier that day, we were comfortable to drive it, and just keep an eye on the tracks. We had mastered the art of seeing any possible disturbances In the tracks, even if the track had been redone with a loose tyre. And there among this rabble of misfits was my best friend from school! They were on their way back from a 2 week stint in the bush. Tired, hungry and dirty like you won't believe. That was a special moment, meeting up with him, out there in the middle of nowhere!

We soon became adept in recognizing any marking that would be left by those who placed the landmines to warn the locals of it's presence in the road. A strategically placed empty cold drink can, two rock, one on top of the other, and, on the way to Etale where the locals had a makeshift soccer field, the goal post top cross bar. If it was up in position, all was clear, if one side was down, it showed there was a mine in the road, and also pointed in the direction it had been placed!

Our troop lifted many mines, mostly the old cheese mine - I think those were relics from the second world war that Russia had supplied to the Angolans. Some of them looked rat eaten, with chunks missing, but they were still deadly. Not sure about the other guys, but we never blew up any mine we found, We successfully lifted and removed all of them, taking them back to camp as a trophy! (Which was immediately handed in for safe keeping.)

I found a TM57. I had never seen one before, not even in pictures. Cleared all around it, felt underneath - no secondary mine or trap. Then we used a long rope to drag it out of the road. No bang. So it was time to see what this thing is about. The top had a part that could be unscrewed. This was the tricky part (for me anyway, as I imagined it could be booby trapped to prevent dismantling). I smeared some nail polish remover around the edge where it met the body of the mine, and tried to unscrew it. It gave easily. So, slowly unscrewing, and listening closely for any tick, or click, or any sound which might indicate that it was in fact booby trapped.  At this point, my mates are around 50 meters away, with the vehicles. The infantry were probably 100 meters away, giving cover to the vehicles and to me. Eventually the top was loose, and gingerly I lifted it away from the body. This is where it became interesting. A bit of nail polish remover again, on the detonator holder, and it easily came out. Funny thing, the detonator was sitting sideways in the housing.

With that out of the way, I pressed on the button on the top, and the damn thing started to tick like a clock! I tossed it probably 10 meters away, and hid my head in the sand. Nothing. The ticking stopped. I retrieved it and checked inside. Now the inner parts had turned 90 degrees, meaning the detonator would now have been armed. I called one of our guys over, and we checked it out. Reset it. Pushed the button again and watched. This thing was made so that the first vehicle to drive over it and push down the button would start the clock turn, which would place the detonator in armed position, and then the second vehicle would detonate it! Clever sly bastards. 

Loaded it up, and when we got back to camp, set the lid and tossed it to one of the infantry guys, who on catching it, heard the ticking and threw it as far as he could while screaming all kinds of warnings to everyone around him! That was kak funny. Sent a report of the finding to Ondangwa, so that they could disseminate the information to the other Sappers out there, so they would also be aware of these mines, and know how to defuse them.  I have a photo somewhere, (which does not exist), where I am lying in the middle of the sand road, drenched in sweat, clearing the sand away around this beast.

My mind says there might be a part 4.

 07/07/1977 - Snippets from a fading memory - Part 2

Arriving in Grootfontein, we disembarked and stood in formation. Quick instructions from whomever was in charge of us there, and we all got onto trucks for the trip North. It would be a long day, on the back of the truck (Samil?), but fortunately a tar road all the way, till we got to Ondangwa. Here we would overnight, and then the next day we would be divided up into our troops, and shipped off to wherever we would b spending at least the next 3 months.  On route to our destination camps, some us saw the remains of vehicles that had hit a landmine, and we were soon sobered up to the fact that this was now for real - no longer explosions in a controlled environment, watched or affected from a safe distance. Now we would be walking among them, over them, and hopefully not on them. This was the real deal.

My one funny memory of the drive to Ondangwa was seeing a black guy, in uncommon uniform, walking next to the road carrying a rifle! My immediate though was "Shoot him!", but luckily we had a rank on board with us, and when asked he explained that he was a friendly local, who was employed by our side. I forget what they were called, but he lived to fight another day! No racial innuendo, but he was an African, with a gun - and to me that meant he was probably the enemy. (Come to think of it, he was walking casually next to the road, so it should have been obvious he wasn't the enemy!)

I remember how hot it was up there. Much hotter than I had ever experienced back home. But it was fine - I don't like the cold, and after Bethlehem in the winter,I would never want to be cold again! But, as we would soon learn, the heat brought with it "miggies", millions of the damn pesky little shits! Had to learn to live with them too.

Another surprise was the "go-carts" and the "piss lilies". Strange names, but even stranger things. Had to get used to taking a crap sitting next to your buddy. And the tents, with the mosquito nets, the dust when the wind blew, the incredible night sky.

As Sappers, we were split up into troops of 10, and for some camps even less. Our task was to sweep the vehicles from camp to their destination. We were deployed with the infantry, and other groups in a camp. So we were the smallest unit in any camp, but received a lot of respect because of our task. One of us would be the representative for meetings and discussions with whomever was in charge of the camp, and not necessarily a ranked Sapper, sometime we just took it in turns.

Namibia, and especially the northern areas where we were deployed is stark, raw, and yet beautiful.  The sparse trees offered some comfort sitting in their shade at midday. The water holes ("Shauna's?), muddy grey in colour, was home to some really big barbers, and stories of the guys fishing with hand grenades abounded. Never di see that, but did watch the locals fishing with nets, and catching quite a few. They would clean them, and hang them up to dry, and then sell them of course. I didn't try to eat them back home, so wasn't going to try them there.

The "kuka shops" were a popular addition to any day out. Always had cold home made "beer"? Who the hell knows what was in it, some stories said they even put old torch batteries into the drum - no matter, we drank gallons of the stuff and are still here to tell the story. The were very clever, digging a hole deep beneath a tree, and storing the drink down in the ground, where it was cooler, and sprinkling water around the hole.

Swapping rations and a few Rand for a goat was a thing. Especially when we had been eating rat packs for more than a week, we would go to the nearest encampment, meet the owner / chief, and bargain with him for a goat. That goat on a braai fire that night tasted like the best Karoo lamb!

Cigarettes in camp were cheap, as was beer. Food was enough when in the camp, and if you made friends with the cook, you could often organise a steak from the officers menu!

The upside of being a Sapper was we didn't have to do guard duty - well not at the camp I was at anyway. On one occasion, when the infantry left the camp, and were replaced by their peers for the next 3 month stint, we had an issue with their commander (whatever his rank was). He decided that the Sappers should also stand guard! Well, it took me all of 5 minutes to get the radio room to contact our guy in Ondangwa, who immediately took this guy on, and explained that should he want to push the issue, we would be withdrawn from his camp, and he could do his own mine sweeping, or risk driving without sweeping the road. That stupid idea died a quick death!

Another funny situation arose when we did bunker inspection. Every once in a while, we would do inspection of the ammo bunkers, and more especially of the mortar pits. This was to check if there was any  ammunition that had started to "bleed", or leak as such. Usually, old ammo like mortars would be taken out of the camp to a pit, where it would then be detonated by us Sappers, using probably 4 times too much PE4 - for effect you know! The resulting boom would scare the crap out of the locals for at least 3 months, and the resulting hole would make for a new water hole, if it was nearing rainy season! Great fun!

However, one time we found some suspect mortars in the mortar pit - and we were not comfortable to move them. So, after a chat with the camp commander, they cleared the immediate area, and we set about placing some PE4 explosives on the mortars. This time we didn't overdo it though, realising that we could blow away half the camp! That too was a memorable bang, with dust flying high into the sky, and all the nearby tents covered in sand. No one was hurt, the infantry dug new mortar pits, and that hole was closed using the sand from the new diggings. Much fun was had by all involved!

With some effort, I might have a part 3.

 07/07/1977 - Snippets from a fading memory - Part 1

48 years ago today I clocked in at 2 Field Engineering Regiment, Bethlehem, to start my 12 month conscription in the South African Defense Force. Within 6 weeks, this was upgraded to 24 months. No matter, it would turn out to be the best two years of my single life. I would make life long friends, I would become the fittest I would ever be in my life, and I would overcome fears I did not even know existed.

Just arrived, and off to the stores to get fitted out with your kit. Then off to find the bungalow you had been allocated, and meet the guys you would be spending the next few months, maybe a year with.

It was a mild winters day when we all boarded the train at the Milpark station in Johannesburg. It was a terribly cold winters day when we arrived and disembarked in Bethlehem. Till then, I did not even know that it could get so cold! Over the next few weeks, the cold would show all it's might, especially when doing those 2 - 4 am guard duties, and even more so if you happened to draw one of the points that were completely exposed to the weather, like the graveyard. Go figure, the graveyard shift at the graveyard!

Running the MMI at 4 am, in black PT shorts, a T-shirt and socks and takkies I believed that it would be the death of me. But we ran, and survived.

I met so many different guys, Afrikaans speaking farm boys, weed smoking Durbanites, some guy, strong as an ox, with a bad limp was a fisherman from the west coast.  He wasn't supposed to be there due to his bad limp, but insisted he wanted to do his bit.

Everyone came there with one purpose, to do their national service. Not long, and we were all there to support each other, go ensure we had each others backs, and to give the best we had in us.

I have fond memories of the telephone booths we used to call home. If I remember correctly, there were 2 side by side. I also remember how the guys who had older brother who had done their service before, had showed them how to make a "long Tickey"! Basically, a coin on a piece of gut, which you put into the money slot, till it registered, then withdrew it and used it again! Not sure the SAPO made much money there. I remember the queues at these phone booths, and when it was your turn to phone, the damn thing would ring, and it was someone's girlfriend calling for him. This was an easy fix. If the phone rang as I was about to pick it up, I would lift the receiver, and say (in Afrikaans) - "Good evening, Bethlehem morgue, how can I help you?" or, "Bethlehem maternity ward" - and they would hang up. Then quickly hang up and lift the receiver so I could make my call.

I remember receiving letters from home, and having to do push up's if the letters smelt nice - cause if you received a letter from the girlfriend, it would usually be dosed in perfume, the corporal would pick up on the scent, and you would have to pay to get it - pay as in "Do 20 push ups!" - and we did.

The food wasn't so great, but edible, and enough. When I didn't really like what was dished up, I made up for it by eating bread. No problem.

Not sure when, probably around week 6, we were allowed to have a beer. And it was then that the news came through that our 12 month call up was being extended to 24 months! Although a bit of a shocker for us, it affected our "ou manne" even more, as they were in the last phase of their 12 months. I have a vague memory of them going absolutely bat shit, and we had to clear out the mess / pub area!

No matter - training was hard, and we had to ensure our buddies kept up, So we would run an MMI (Mile and a half) and had to do it in a certain time. If you didn't make the cut off, you ran again. That was okay, but became a problem when if one or more of the guys didn't make the cut off, EVERYONE had to run again. This taught us to support each other, encourage each other, make sure that everyone did their best, and more, till we would all arrive within the cut off time.

I have memories of cleaning the bungalow, and getting everything ready for inspection in the morning - sleeping under the bed so we didn't have to make them up again in the morning, and waking up to the corporals shouting, and dumping fire buckets of water across the shiny polished floors.

A lot of what was done and what happened didn't seem to make sense at the time, except of pleasing a deranged corporal, but in hind sight, it was all part of building resilience, team building, working together - ultimately - to make sure we all looked out for each other, and would be able to face any situation!

On night, still early in basics, someone burnt the veld next door to the camp. Next morning, after the MMI, and while it was still dark, they made us leopard crawl through the burnt veld. Apart from very dirty clothes, and troops, there was the problem of the now short, stiff burnt grass cutting through the skin. Trust me when I say we were a sorry mess when we returned to our bungalows to change for breakfast after that stint. But we survived.

Training with telephone gum poles was another test. To see if we could work together, run in step with each other, and carry our part. Fun? I think not. Funny? Only when we were dropped about 10km outside of town and told to run back to camp, with our poles. One bunch decided to get clever, stopped in at a farm, borrowed a saw, and cut their pole into 4 pieces, one piece each. Easier to carry and run with. Needless to say they paid for that in blood. Their "opfok" PT lasted well into the night.

End of basics, and they had a parents day. We set up the field with all our military stuff, as well as a part of a Bailey bridge which we would assemble as part of a show. Bets part of the day for me, apart from seeing my parents who had made the trip (we were allowed our first weekend pass afterwards) was meeting some of my mates sisters! Damn brother, (Wally? from Meyerton?),I was so glad I helped him through some of those challenges, and so he was happy to introduce me to his parents, AND his hot sister!

First time at the shooting range, I saw a corporal jump on some guys back, and hard. He had a misfire, and was turning around to ask for assistance - ignoring the training that said "You lay your rifle down, facing the front, raise your hand and wait for someone to come and help you!"

I forgot to mention that 98% of all communication was in Afrikaans - this didn't phase me as I was (and still am) as fluent in Afrikaans as I was in English. But some of those souties, especially the guys from the Durban area, they struggled, and many times paid the price for not understanding.

Training in explosives, and land mines was the highlight of my basics. I loved every minute of it, and couldn't wait till we got to "play" with some of the nasty stuff.

Basics finished, we got a weekend pass every 2 or 3 weeks. It was a matter of hitch hiking home on Friday afternoon, and back again on Sunday night. Those days, almost everyone would pick up a soldier in uniform, and take home safely as far as they were going.  It helped to convey to the driver where you were going, or, like me on one occasion, I ended up in Potch! an hour away from home, and they had driven right past my home town - but I was asleep in the back! Another time, I got a lift from 2 girls in a VW beetle - and suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, they just stopped the car. Then, opening a bottle of champagne, we celebrated the car going over 1 million kilometers! Fun times.

When December approached, some of us were hoping that we would be lucky enough to get the right weekend pass, and at least get to spend some Xmas time with the family. Alas, it was not to be. 2 Weeks before Christmas (more or less) we were shipped north - SWA here we come! Oh, and it was also after basics that we were told we could grow a moustache if we wanted to. I did - and have had one ever since!

So, off with the Flossie to the war. Some level of excitement, but also concern, as we didn't really know what to expect, which camps we would be shipped out to, what we would find. But this is what we had trained for, and we had been properly prepared.

 

More on this later….maybe….I don't really tell war stories….but the above memories will stir many emotions amongst me peers.

Winter 2025   

 So it's winter - 2025. And it's damn cold. I'm not sure if it's colder than previous years, I can't be bothered to go and check the stats, or, if I feel it more as I get older. But I do know that I don't like the cold weather! I don't mind the mild winters I remember from when I was much younger, but this cold, with the wind blowing, when 6deg C feels like 3 deg C, nah, not for me. 

But the upside is I know that spring, and summer are on their way, so there's always that! And I still get to ride my bike, just not when it's this cold. If the temperature gets up to around 14 or 15 deg C, I am quite happy to take her out of the garage and go for a spin.

At work, I have brought in an electrical hearer from home. I don't use it at home, as electricity is expensive, and I have a gas heater for there. But in my office? Well, I don't pay for electricity at work, so all good.

I've also taken to wearing multiple layers of clothing - again, not something I did when I was much younger, but I'm not that guy that puts up a brave act. I dress for warmth! I really feel sorry for the folk in the workshop. That's bitter cold! And as we don't have a lot of work at this time (read, no work), they not busy, so it makes it worse. If you busy, your body burns something (my mate Steve knows), and your body is warmer.

So, that's my update for today. Keep warm, keep safe, keep writing....

 Update?

It's been a while since I posted, but not for lack of trying. I have started probably 5 or 6 posts, and then just deleted them as I don't seem to be able to get the message across that I am wanting to, not able to express myself, for whatever reason.

Today will be no different, as I don't really know where this is going, other than I need to post something.

Saturday was a very quiet day. Saw my mom in the morning, then went home, spent some time in the garage / workshop working on a book stand for Luciano and Tayla, then chilled upstairs. Didn't even consider going to the poker game, not even to say hi to the guys. Apart from which, it was cold, and I didn't feel like being outside.

Sunday was spent with my daughter and grandchildren, lunch was at her brothers house, and so also relatively quite. Changed a garden tap for them (can't believe some guys have zero tools, as in not even a shifting spanner), and can't change a garden tap. No matter, took me all of 3 minutes after we went and bought a new tap.

The little one took her first few steps on Friday, so yesterday every time she stood upright, all cellphones were out to try and film her walking. Needless to say, all she did was laugh, and sit right back down! She sill be walking by next weekend for sure.

From there, a quick stop at the Dinky's to see my friend and the boys there, with their kids. Always so welcome there, it's nice.

Then home, and back into my own quiet, warm space.

So, not much going on. 

Back at work today, where we have an empty order book. I have 16 staff sitting around waiting. I'm hoping the boss got his loan from the DTI so we can start getting material and making stuff. Otherwise this place will be closed before Xmas, if that long.

Anyway, will post some more if something comes up.

Keep warm, and write something.....

 Control

Not sure why, but driving home yesterday from visiting with the grandchildren, I go to thinking about control. Not sure if it was a song playing on the radio that set it off, but it matters not.

AI on Google says it refers to the ability to direct or regulate something, person, object or process. Or the power or influence one has over others, or the action of restricting or influencing something.

But, in any situation the point of control is influenced by another external action. Let me see if I can put my point across.

Control of a process - You can switch a machine on or off, but if someone else had disconnected the electricity, that machine will not run.

Control of object - You can throw a ball, but the distance it goes is dependent on how strong you are, how heavy the ball is, if there is an object in the way, etc.

Control of person - You can instruct someone to do something, but if they refuse, it won't get done. You can then threaten them, but that involves a different action, from you and or them, so you have not been successful in controlling them.

Anything I can think of that involves control of some sort, can be impacted by a third party, thing, which means, to me, that we are never fully in control.

Not of people, things, processes, emotions, nothing.

Think about it   - be safe and be blessed.

I think I might be back to add to, expand this thought.

 Getting older

So getting older means also forgetting stuff, getting things wrong that you have always got right, and other assorted similar crap!

End of last year, after another bout of no water due to incompetence of our local municipality, I decided to put in a backup water tank, (1500lt) with a booster pump.

I then ran the pump without municipal feed so that I could have an idea how long the tank would last me. Nearly 10 days! I refilled it, and redid the test. Nearly 10 days! That means my average monthly consumption, normal use, not sparingly, would be around 4.5 - 5 Kl per month.

Now I checked my monthly water bill, and the average was 10Kl. I knew it was correct due to the fact that I send them a photo of the reading every month, and they bill me on that. But I also now realized that I was 'losing' 5Kl of water every month, and that after the meter, which stood in my property (that's another story).

So I walked up to the meter, and removed the cover around the base, and lo and behold, a leak! And a proper leak, basically 5Kl a month!

I reported it, it took them nearly 6 or 8 weeks, numerous emails, SMS's, WhatsApp's, and threats, but they came out, removed the faulty meter, and put in a new on, but on the pavement this time, on my instruction! And usage dropped to around 5Kl a month. Great.

Anyway, I digress - so we have had a water problem again, been a week or so. Last week Tuesday I switched to the tank again, knowing I'll be okay for around 10 days.

Yesterday (Sunday) I checked my electricity meter (prepaid) and I know I can get a month out of R1000.00 (around 353kWh). But I only had 70kWh left. That means I won't make it to the end of the month. Couldn't figure out why...

Last night I go upstairs to get ready for bed. I hear a humming sound coming in through the window. So I go back down, and go outside to se if I can identify the cause. I've heard it a few night in a row now, and decided to see what it was.

Turns out it's the water pump! I had forgotten to close one of the circulation valves, which means the pump was running 27/7for 6 days. Basically pumping water from the tank, into the feeder pipe and back into the tank!

That little error cost me around 70kWh of electricity - and that's why I will be short this month, and will have to buy more to get me through the month.

And that's how we learn -

Be blessed everyone!

 Work?

Work life at the moment sucks - big time.

Since our new owner took over the company, our turnover had decreased to 10% of what it was. The past two months have been a bit better, but still no where near what it needs to be. It has cost him in excess of 1.8 million to keep our doors open!

Some background - This company was owned by Mr. and Mrs. Hean. I started here working 2 days a week. Then out primary client (95%+) was 3BM SA, owned by Roger Mar1in. After Mr. Hean passed away, Mrs. Hean asked me to stay on and help run the company.

For some years prior, they had been trying to sell the company to Roger, who always indicated his interest, but never made an offer. After he died, Mrs. Hean told him she really wanted to sell. He delayed and played the game till she dropped her price to a ridiculous number. He seriously "stole" the company. But no matter, now our client was also our owner, as Roger owns 3BMSA.

Then Roger sold 3BMSA and Rhombic to a BEE buyer, an African guy who got funding from the IDC or one of those institutions. He didn't get enough funds to buy out Roger completely, so bought the company, and some of the existing stock. This meant that Roger still owned a lot of stock - probably around 40 million!

Now, Roger was well off, so could float 3BMSA on a monthly basis if funds ran short, Then when the money came in, he would be refunded. This worked well, the company had an average monthly turnover of around 8 million Rand! At a 35% profit margin, good business.

So the new guy takes over. Renames the place 3BM SGT - this means that all 3EBMSA suppliers whom they had accounts with, now see this as a new company, so go COD. New owner will have to first build up his credit worthiness before they will open accounts. And as he has limited access to funds, he struggles to get raw materials. And with no raw material, we can't manufacture for him, so clients don't get their product, and many go elsewhere! 

He gets onto Rogers bad side, so Roger firms up on his credit as well, meaning that even though Roger has in stock the products 3BMSGT needs, they can't get it till they pay for it! That's what happens when you burn bridges! His GM resigns on short notice, so he has to get a new one - they don't come cheap, and as he's also an African, comes with attitude, demands a new company car as he doesn't like the nearly new Pajero the previous GM drove. And I am sure a fat salary, company petrol card, expense account, cellphone, etc.

His sales manger gets worked out - so has to employ a new one - won't just promote the person in sales who has been responsible for 80% of the turnover for the past 5 - 6 years! Nope, maybe because she's white and female!

Then he hires in 2 African lady HR consultants - who everyone agrees adds no value to the company - and they can't be disposed of as he signed them for a 12 month contract! (R50k a month is what they getting paid).

Internally, they promote a clerk (African) into the buying position - including all purchases of products from sub-contractors, like our company! He has no idea what he's doing, and has to keep referring back to his old boss for guidance and assistance!

I finally learned that the new owner comes from a corporate environment, and his plan is to turn this small / medium company into a corporate! All that means is big overheads, expensive top management, a CEO position (for him), a board, and the glory of telling your mates you are the owner, and CEO, of a corporation! Seriously?

All this spending has left him in a situation where he can no longer buy materials like the company used to, so we can't manufacture. 

So, I now have a company I run, where out of the 15  workshop employees, only about 5 are working, The rest I am trying to keep busy! We have made "stock" with material that was on our floor, and Have cleaned and repacked the 3 workshops, and I even have a guy on the roof painting!

He's now also employed a financial consultant. Go figure - a bit late for that, and he's expensive - and I can't see how he's going to add value, other than he's now looking at my job description, which I supplied him with, to re-evaluate my salary which I told him I am not happy with. I know, wrong time as the company is doing so bad, well, he needs to know what I bring to the party, before they decide they can replace me with an African manager - then they will close the doors here! 

So, here's hoping they get the top up loan from the IDC they have applied for - here's hoping the IDC manage to get Eishkom to stop importing / buying cheaper Chinese imports (they not really much cheaper, and their quality sucks, but the guy in Cape Town who imports this shit is known to hand out brown envelopes to some of the procurement staff at Eishkom!)

If only get the fuse box business back, and get awarded the current tenders which are pending, we will do a minimum of 750k a month turnover, which is much more than we need to do to keep the company afloat, and I could by employing another 8 or so people, grow that number to between 1 million and 1.5 million Rand a month!

Some names have been altered - to protect myself!

End of rant - at least I have this off my chest.

Now for my next trick - sending love and peace to the world from my blog.

 Grandchildren

I'm sitting here at my desk, finishing off the weeks reports and stuff. My cellphone is next to me on the desk, and every time my hand passes over it, the screen light up. And all I see is my screensaver, a photo of me and my 3 grandchildren, taken a few months ago. And it makes me smile.

I have been blessed with 3 beautiful, happy, loving kids, still small (4 and 2 and 1), but they have consumed me.

The joy they bring to my life when I visit them is incredible. Yes, as kids they can be testing too.

The oldest, very clever little lady, always has questions, and has mastered the use of "Why?" She wants to know everything, and needs an explanation for everything. Her dad told me one evening when he was tucking her in she asked "Do we still swallow our spit when we sleeping?" Now who has ever even given that a thought, yet she did, and wanted to know! As my first grandchild, she's always going to own the top spot in my heart, not to say the other two don't feature, they are very close behind, but like most special things in our lives, the first one is probably the most treasured. At school she's the class "madam"! Always first to offer to help the teacher, always up front when arranging games (wanting to have her own way), a real drama queen when needed. Loves drama (as in plays, acting, singing), does ballet, swims, likes to color in. Has given me loads of pages with various scribbles (from when she was little) and excitedly tells me "Look what I mad for you Nonno!", all of which I have kept. So precious.

The second one - he's a typical boy. And typically 2 yrs old. Terrible twos' is what they refer to, and he's living up to that. He's adamant he will get his way, will ignore you, and push his luck at every turn. I have worked out if I want him to do something, I tell him the opposite, and then get the result I want! He's a fast learner, with the added advantage of having a clever bigger sister who he has loved to mimic. For a long time he would just repeat whatever she said or did. Of late I have noticed that he's getting more of his own personality. He has learned much quicker to form full sentences, and is getting used to sometimes having to play alone. Probably going to school (Grade RRRRRR?????) has helped him break his dependence on his sister.

The baby, well she's just a heart breaker - the most beautiful little person. She's also learning very fast, as she has two siblings teaching her, and whom she watches all the time. She wants to be able to join them in their shenanigan's, so her development seems to be much faster.

Overall, I may have many issues in my life that affect me negatively, but one afternoon spent with these precious blessings, and my daughter (in-law), and I'm ready for whatever the next week will throw at me.

Keep safe out there

 Looking back

I was again. as usual, playing with my blog page layout - It's still not like I want it, but it's okay - for now. I read some of my very old posts (the original blog I can't find - have no clue how to find it either), but that old stuff really brought back some memories - went through some very dark times back then - and it's not that long ago.

Glad I've managed to push through it, and move on. It reminded me that anxiety, and more so, depression, are very bad spaces to be in, and if you are not careful, can be disastrous. I have learned over time to identify / recognize the symptoms, and have managed to get out of that space myself. On the few occasions I couldn't "reverse" my emotional state, I have got medical help. It works - it's worth it, and you get back control of your life.

So, the point I'm making here (and also as a reminder to myself), don't be ashamed of  feeling anxious or even depressed. It can be controlled / fixed. Too many men have been raised to think a man shouldn't show / suffer this emotion, and it's probably the primary cause for suicide among men.

Finally, if you know someone who is going through this, make time to speak to them, even better, make an effort to listen to them, no need to offer advise, other than, "Maybe it's time to see a doctor?".

Good luck out there - love your life.

 So I'm a little slow....

I only just now noticed that the blog page automatically puts in the date above the post. I have been putting the date into the heading, so as to be able to refer back, remember when I posted whatever I wrote. Sorry, I'm a little slow, but keeping track of specific dates has become important to me.

Other than that, not too much news. My current contract with my employer ends at the end of this month. I have a few options:-

1) Keep quiet, come to work as usual on 02 June, and keep working, which will automatically make me a permanent employee!

2) Raise the issue with him, and get served with a new (1 or 2) year contract, which then again had an "end date".

The problem is that June is my increase month. If I go and speak to him about my increase, he may pick up that my contract is coming to an end, and then either let me go (not likely), or get his HR ladies to draw up a new contract for me. This would open the door for renegotiation of my salary and employment terms, I suppose, but still risky. Or I wait till July, which is increase month for all the other employees, and take the minimum as per the steel industry, which isn't actually applicable to me.

So I'm not sure what to do.

Personally, I think I should go and see him, explain that it's time for my increase, and see if I can negotiate a better deal. My current salary was agreed to when the previous owner bought out my original employer. He said he would only buy the company if I agreed to stay on. The salary was what we agreed on - but probably short of what I should have asked for. I was just wanting to ensure the sale went through for the lady who had decided to sell after her husband passed away.

SO, any advise there from my brother (or anyone else who might stumble across this blog)?

 When we can help, we should - 12 May 2025

On Sunday morning, I went to church, followed by a visit t my mom. I hadn't seen her on Saturday as usual, as I went to a 1st birthday party for my last born grandchild. My sister was also visiting mom, so we had a chance to catch up. And as usual, we got into a discussion about the shenanigans going on in my extended family (read sons). She's adamant that counselling is the answer. I know that one of the party isn't interested. Anyway, we have these discussions, share information, and agree to continue to pray over the issue.

I had bought mom a cappuccino on the way, which she really enjoyed. Then the sister arrived with a small cub cake, which I fed to mom, along with a second cup of coffee. After about 45 minutes, I said my goodbyes.

As I got into the car, I saw I had a message from a very good friend, who had on Friday past left for Malta. She's there on a 3 - 5 year contract, how lucky. She's the widow of my late best friend Mike, who died a few years ago, and we have kept in touch.

Anyway, just over a week ago she contacted me about an elderly couple who live close to me. The man was their pastor many years ago, and ran the church where Mike and Erika got saved. They were always close, and kept in touch even after moving to the Cape. She told me the lady had recently got sick, and 8 weeks in hospital did nothing to help, in fact, she had walked into there, and eventually came home in a wheelchair. She said the old man wasn't coping too well. For a start he can't cook! Then, being 81 years old, he's struggling to lift her off the bed, get her to the bathroom and back. She won't eat much, usually only wants toast and jam, so he doesn't bother to buy in any ready made meals, which means he's not eating well. A couple of times she's taken a fall, and he's had to contact a neighbor to come and help get her up. She says she does not want to go back to hospital, and wont accept him getting a caregiver in to help. So he's in a bad space. I went round then to introduce myself, and told him if he needs any help, he's free to call me. I live maybe 3 minutes away. Nice old guy. We spent probably 30 minutes chatting in his driveway. I got Erika the details of Brian's, a place just 500 meters from the old peoples home, that do meals daily, and deliver, and it's good food, and R50 a plate for pensioners. She was going to try and arrange for a meal to be delivered 3 - 4 times a week.

Anyway, so I see a message from her. The old man has contacted her again, and she's worried because apart from the usual, they really not eating well. Now on my first visit I confirmed that finances are not a problem. I called her, and told her this, and said I'd go round and chat to him about Brian's, and other food delivery options in the area. She asked if I'd pick up two Sunday lunches from Brian's and deliver it. She would pay me back. No problem. Sunday lunch is a fuller meal, and costs a bit more, but still cheap. I get there, order two meals, and wait 30 minutes in my car, as all meals are prepared fresh.

I drive to their home, call, and he comes out. He's very happy to see me, and thankful for the meals. Again, he keeps me chatting in the driveway for probably another 45 minutes. I don't mind, as I can hear he needs to talk, and has some nice stories to tell, in-between updating me on the situation with his wife. My advise was that he get her back to a doctor, and ask for a referral to a proper specialist, so they can find out how she went from a walking patient with infection in her blood and kidneys, to a nearly paralyzed wheelchair patient! Also, even though she says no, if she needs to be hospitalised, do it. And if you need help, get a caregiver. It's also about him, and his ability to care for her, and his health. And, hold onto your faith, you being tested. We had a good chat, he was very thankful for my time and care.

Imagine being married for 40 years, never having to cook or clean, and suddenly being responsible, at age 81, for all that. And having to take care of the woman who always took care of you. Having to clean up after her if she does not make it to the bathroom on time. I know some of you have been doing this, and take my hat off to you. But he's an old man, old school, does it because he knows he has to, but does not have the strength to. I feel for him.

I'll see him again soon I'm sure. And we think we have problems.

Be safe out there.

 Answered prayers - 12 May 2025

Once again, in a situation where I knew I needed some help and comfort, I sent up a prayer, and He heard me and answered.

I had a situation this past Saturday, where I was worried that my anxiety would probably get the better of me. My friend DMD said he was sure I would be okay, because that's just the person I am, but I wasn't so sure.

Anyway, on the way I asked our Father just to be with me, calm my mind, and watch my mouth. And He did. And all went well.

I am blessed.... Be safe and sending much love to you.

 A memory - 30 April 2025

That's us, sitting in the booth
You, with your wild hair

Your laughing eyes

And that naughty look

That's us

Now it's just me

That booth is empty

No laughing

No sneaky sideways glance

Nothing

My only thought

"Your loss"

 If I don't do anything then.....

I have posted here before about the situation the company I work for finds itself. Anyway, last week Thursday, just before I went to the doctor, the guy who own the place next door asked if he could come and view the property. He has in the past indicated an interest in buying it, but that discussion didn't bear fruit.

Now he's interested again. So much so that before I got home after his viewing, I got a call from the current owner to say he had made an offer, and it was for more than she was expecting!

Okay, so he really wants the place! I know he tried to buy the place behind the one next door, but that's not for sale. So, my advise to the landlady was to get hold of my boss, and let him know that if he does not put in an offer now, she's going to sell, and he will have to move.

Thing is, the lease here comes up at the end of May, around 6 weeks time. If this property gets sold, then we have to move. We have to find alternative workshops which suit our needs. We will have to get forklifts, riggers and crane trucks to move all the machines and equipment. The cost, my estimate, would be around R200k, depending how far we move. Then, in the new premises, we would have to get an electrical company to upgrade and fit the distribution boards, and pull in all the cables required to power the machines. My estimate here is between R300 and R400k! Along with being out of production for probably 4 - 6weeks.

This morning I went to where his offices are, and met with him. I explained the above, and recommended that he seriously consider buying the property. He listened and said that he had been in contact with the bank (for financing?), and they just needed one more document from him.

Let's see how this goes.

On another (related?) note, last month they didn't load the pay on time, and we all got paid late. It took for me to drive to his offices, and request they make it immediate clearance (which costs the company money), and ensure my staff get paid same day. Before I got back to the office we had all been paid. This month, I called him the night before payday, at around 6pm. I explained that I was checking that he had cleared the payments online, and he confirmed he had. Great, I thought.

The next morning (Friday 25/03/2025), I saw no notification on my cell phone from the bank. I get to work, and the employees confirm none of them have been paid! Damn! I make a call to the main office, and speak to the lady who loads the payments onto the banking system. She confirms that the payments were not released. I ask her to change them to "Immediate clearance" and get the boss to release. Then I call my staff together, and tell them there has again been a hiccup, but I promise that they will get paid before we knock off!

Lucky, about 2 hours later the wages came through, everyone got their notifications from their banks, and that problem was sorted.

I look like the hero now, but that aside, we really don't need this kind of stress. My staff don't earn bombs, don't have access to other funds, so depend on their pay coming in on time.

As it is, we gat paid on the last Friday of every month, but next week I'm meeting with the FM and CEO, and asking them to change it to the 25th of every month. That way, if there is a hiccup, we have a day or two to sort it out.

And this morning I received a message from the current landlord to confirm that the boss had indicated he will be sending her an offer, matching the other one she had received. So looks like he's buying. And, the offer was a couple ok 100k above her original asking price!

Enuff of that.....have another subject I want to post about - on my other blog.

 April 22, 2025 - Another day in paradise

So here we are. Tuesday morning, at the office. I know, I should be working, well, I'm the manager here, and at the moment we not too busy, I have made sure all is well in the factory, so can take 5 minutes to start this post.

I posted a blog directed at a very good friend (brother), and he replied on his blog. Interesting how that's working.. Suffice to say, we know each other too well.

I can't wait till I can get down there to spend a few days together. He's a good man, gives great advice, listens to hear and not just respond.... Not too many people like him around - well, not in my life anyway.

So, this coming weekend, my nephew (in-law, read ex's sister son) is getting married, It's his second. I was on the invite list - one of only 70 people, but alas, I had to decline. And I'm quite pissed about it. You see, the ex will obviously be there, probably with her ??, and his parents. Since our divorce, I have had no communication with the ex family, other than when my mom-in-law died, and then as little as possible. 

Also, even though I made a point of being the better person after the divorce with regards how I treated my ex, that has now come to an end. On the basis that she is enabling my son with regards his decision to divorce his wife, I can no longer, in good faith, be that guy. So I am making a point of avoiding her as much as possible.

What pisses me off is that I am now missing out on events which include family and friends. I know, it's my decision, but made on the back of my self respect, and not wanting to condone the actions of others. If you are seen to be in acceptance of their actions, it reflects on you as well!

So, apart from the fact that I was sick, I didn't get to spend Good |Friday, or Easter Sunday with my family. Had we been a normal family, my illness would not have ben an issue. We would have go together, and celebrated, minding that I don't infect the little ones. Well that didn't happen. Had we been a normal family, I would be flying down to the Cape this week to attend the wedding.

What's even more annoying, and again, probably due to decisions and / or choices I have made, is that their lives are going on as normal. This is their new normal. But it's not normal, not in my eyes.

And this bring to the fore another issue. I know my boys care for me, and look out for me. More so my biking wingman - he has much of my personality, so caring for those close to you comes naturally. However, of late I have been feeling bad about stuff, mostly because I don't want him to feel like I am now his responsibility. He has his own life, and shouldn't have to worry about his dad, make sure I feel included, looked after, etc.

I'm not saying that his actions are because he feels responsible to look out for me - I just don't want it to be that. Does this makes sense? It does in my head. I really appreciate him, and what he does for me.

Enough for now..... Not sure where I was going with this post, other than to record my feelings and thoughts.

On the basis that I probably only have one reader, who I am very comfortable to share my stuff with, I'm okay with publishing it here.

Be safe out there.

 20 April, 2025 - To my blogger brother.

I have spent two days running and writing this post in my head. There is so much I want to say, even more I should say, and yet......

All would be so much easier and better if done face to face. But that's not an option right now, so I'm going to try and speak to him through this post.

DMD / DMGD....

Your post really hit me, and yes, I was in tears. And not only because of the content of your post, but also because I understand what you going through - mostly.

First thing I have to put out there, there is no shame in a man showing his emptions, crying, getting emotionally upset. There are not features reserved for the ladies. I think there is someone out there right now who would gladly offer a listening ear, along with any tears, without any judgement. Seriously. I've been there, and still am in many respects - I have no shame showing that I feel. We are human, made with emotions as part of your DNA, and just because we were raised in an ear where men didn't show their emotions does not mean we don't have any, and does not make that statement true. Giving vent to your emotions helps. You will no doubt have had those crying sessions when you are alone in your room, and that gearbox in your brain is running amok, with all the "what if's", and "why me's"..... And you will have felt a bit better afterwards - I know - I have.

Your partner is ill, and you had to make a big decision about her care - and you did - I have no idea how hard that was, but I do know what having a family member suffering from that disease is like, and the best thing for them is being in a place that can give them the care and attention they deserve. You arranged that. Well done.

You also looking for company now, been alone too long (I was warned after my divorce "Don't get used to your own company" - I didn't listen). I understand. It's nice to have another person on call, someone who you can have dinners with, take walks, sit and chat... share some normal life together. And you will find her. She's out there. But it takes time, and patience.

I know you not impulsive, and so won't get into anything you don't feel right about. And your a nice guy, well mannered, gentle, love music, love life - hey what's not to like about you. So, you will find someone.

The fear of maybe being alone can conjure up unfounded fears, and we need to be aware of this - don't want to make hasty decisions.

Finally, the lady you speak of looks awesome (if it's her that Facebook popped up as a possible friend, who is linked to you...). She's been responsive, good. She's probably going to read your blog. You should get "feedback" of some sort from that. Either way, stressing about it now won't change the outcome.

Apart from the above, the past couple of years have been hard on you. I understand what you went through with your S. I am in awe of what you did for her before you had to make your hard decision. Your brothers story, and now having to take care of the Monster nephew, plus having your mom live with you... It's been hard. I know. 

Now this is where I'm at - And I think I know your stand on this, but it's my story.

When I was at the very bottom of my darkness, I had only one place left to turn, my bible. I opened on random pages and read. Closed it, opened again and read. And so many times the paragraph or chapter had a message for me for that day, or that specific event that needed clearing up / sorting out.

My heling came after one particularly bad evening, I was in my study, I had read a piece, and then started to talk to my "dad". Yes, I refer to God as Dad, He doesn't mind. In tears I eventually found myself on the floor, begging Him to take it away, to help me get through this, to stop my brain gearbox from going into overdrive....

I don't knowhow long I was there, if I passed out or fell asleep or what. But some time later I got up, and felt lighter. My mind wasn't burning out, I was calm, and able to think clearly about stuff. Since then, I've had a few bad stints, I've even had to get meds for the depression twice when I couldn't work my way through it..... But I've never again got to that low point I was that night.

I don't really know your stand on religion or God, or Jesus. I must assume you will have some knowledge on the subject (you not a stupid person), and I doubt you believe that you are the descendant of an ape....So, brother, maybe just sit on your deck at sunset, with a glass of wine, or beer, and have a chat to Dad. He's listening, and will hear you. It's a non-critical ear, and with promised good results.

Sorry if I am coming across as bible bashing - I'm not wanting to, just sharing what happened to me. I have so much more to say here, but maybe better kept for another time - maybe when I get to visit again.

Be strong, keep up the good work. Believe in your self.....and stay safe brother.

 20 April 2025 - Easter Sunday

This has been a different Easter for me. Unfortunately I got the flu earlier this week, and it turned into bronchitis, so I'm basically homebound. Was supposed to go to the boys on Good Friday for a prawn braai, but wasn't up for it. Wingman came round with his new lady later to bring me some prawns. Apart from church in the morning, I stayed home, indoors.

Saturday I didn't go and visit my mom as usual, as I definitely don't want to make her sick. So took a drive to a drug rehab center, where a late friends son is getting treatment. He's been there a year in a weeks time, has cleaned up well, is considering joining their counselling training. We will see how he does. I needed to get him to sign some documents for the lawyers attending to his late dad's estate. Got back home, went round to a local poker game, and joined in. Was a free roll, so no expense. Did okay, went out 9th, but considering there were 30 players who started, that's a good result. But, when the cards don't come, they don't come. Got home, went to bed, but didn't get much sleep.

Today, church. Was a nice service. Then came home. Been here all day. Had a simple lunch, have to eat to take my meds. Wingman called to say hi, and check on me. We would have gone on a breakfast run today if   didn't get sick. We agreed, maybe tomorrow, if I'm up for it. However, I'm not sure I should be exposing my chest to the cold. Will probably give it a miss.

I'm not stressed about not having had a typical family Easter Sunday, But being alone has given me a different perspective on the meaning of the day (Resurrection Sunday), and time to reflect.

Bigger issues are the possibility of my employer going out of business. That's going to leave me in a shithole. The property is also under offer to purchase, and if it gets sold, we will have to relocate the workshops by the end of May! Lease expired 31 May! And that's a shit show - probably 2 - 3 weeks downtime. Maybe problems with staff and transport. And the expense involved with moving trucks, riggers, forklifts, rewiring the new premises - it would probably be cheaper for my boss to buy the premises we are in.

But that's very much out of my hands, and so I keep the faith.

 Latest status - 15 April 2025

I've been a bit slack here - been kind of busy. Head office has sent a graduate to spend some time with us to learn the ropes. The guy studied music - yup, and now he's at an engineering company. His dad is partner in the business, so that's how it happened.

That said, he's a nice fellow, well mannered, and keen to learn, so I'm teaching him as much as I can. He's going to be here for 4 weeks, then will be back again in 4 months time.

Apart from that, I have picked up the flu, but am still at work - no peace for the wicked. However, if it gets really bad, I'll gladly take a few days off to recover.

On the home front, all is quiet. Have arranged to go out on the bike with my wingman on Sunday, so I'll be attending the 6.15 am service at the church, so that we can get an early start as well and enjoy the road with the other bikers. If we go after the 9am service, (10am), we kind of miss the bunch, and don't get the full breakfast run experience. We will see how the 6.15 am thing works if I still have the flu!

Still alone at home, and I seem to have got over the "I think I need someone around" thing I went through a few weeks ago. It happens, and I ride it out. All I need to watch out for is getting depressed. Happens quickly at times, but I have learned to recognize it, and manage it.

So all good there. I've started to clean out stuff, albeit slowly, as I know that at sometime I will want to sell the place. I'm finding stuff that hasn't been used since the divorce, and those are going to a good home (read: staff at work are benefitting).

I did a cleanup in the pantry a few months ago, and found stuff (tinned stuff) that had expired 10 years ago! That went into the bin with speed.

I've dumped half of the plastic containers (why do we have so many), and will be dumping some more soon. There's an old popcorn maker,  one of those soda stream machines (all the rubbers have perished), and some other kitchen stuff I don't even know what they are used for - they going soon.

SO, all good, keeping moderately busy, behaving, and staying safe.

 Got to keep writing

Someone commented that I need to keep writing - follow up on previous posts, or something new.

Go figure - I live alone. My day goes as follows

Up at 6.30am - Do the bathroom thing, shower etc. - Get dressed - Go downstairs, switch on the kettle - go outside for a smoke - go inside make coffee - go outside again....2 cups of coffee and maybe 4 or 5 smokes later, I've checked the Facebook updates, read any WhatsApp messages that have come through, read the daily message and prayers, and get ready to go to work. It's now 7.40am.

Note:- At this point I have not spoken to anyone yet.

Drive to work, get there at 8.am. Go inside - now I get to speak to people, the employees. Put in my 8 hours, and at 5pkm, lockup the factory and go home. I'm home by 5.15pm, if I don't stop at the club for a cold one with the boys.

Once I'm home, I don't get to speak to anyone again till I get to the office the next day - Maybe a call from one of my sons, or Gavin, a close mate, but other than that, nothing.

So, unless something happens during the day that requires taking note of, or needs to be shared with my hundreds of followers, I don't have too much to say.

Weekends are similar - up early, coffee, smokes. A visit to mom at frail care in the old age home (Advanced dementia means no communication, but I believe she knows I'm there).

Then sometimes to the club for a late breakfast, then home. Up early on Sunday - same routine - then Church, followed by a visit to my sister, followed by a visit to my grandchildren, and then my other son, and then home, to prepare for work on Monday.

Saturday afternoons I used to play poker - a nice game just a few k's down the road. But I've given that up as I can't play against donkeys, and I strip my moer too quick - it's not healthy for me :)

Reading through this post I get the feeling I need to get a life!

I am, however, posting quite a bit on my other private blog, and might share the link sometime.

Keep safe out there.....

 

 New Blog - but private for now

I've started another blog page, where I am writing down certain personal and emotional issues. It's not for public display at the moment, but more like an online diary, for myself. In it I write about specific situations, my reactions / responses to them, and sometimes my reasons.

Why? Well, I'm nearing 66 years of age, I'm probably a bit forgetful, and want to know that I have a reference I can go back on, including dates, so that I can refresh my mind, and if need be, explain my actions / reactions if they ever come up in a conversation.

Or maybe I just need to write, and my feedlot at this time is more personal, not for public consumption. Maybe I'll soon be back to writing some poetry, haven't done much of that in a while, and considering I have over 200 poems in my list, it's surprising.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now.

Keep safe out there.....

 Update on my last post

At 9.45 am, last Friday, I left the workshop and headed for the place where I would find my boss. We had not yet received our pay for the month, and the staff were not happy.

On the way there, probably 5 minutes out from his offices, my phone beeped - sms from the bank to confirm my salary had been paid in. I call one of the guys back at the workshop, nothing yet for him. I called the office lady, same.

By the time I reached the boss's office, there were 4 confirmations of salaries received. I went inside, and sat with one of the guys there that I usually deal with, and waited to see if the rest were getting paid.

Slowly the messages came through, and finally, it seemed the issue had been resolved, so I didn't bother to go and see the boss, and just drove back to work. There I found that one of the guys didn't know if he had been paid. He does not have the banking app on his phone, and no airtime, so can't receive SMS's!

As it was now close to 12 midday (we work till 2pm on Fridays) and as we had all had to stress because of this late payment, I gave everyone the rest of the day of, and locked up. I sent the errant guy R10.00 airtime, and told him to find an ATM and check his balance, and to let me know if he had been paid.

I heard from him on Saturday, where he confirmed he had been paid, but into the wrong account. It seems he was with one bank, moved to another, informed the office, but they still got it wrong.

Anyway, all's well that ends well - we got paid, got off early, and are back at work to face another day / week / month.

Oh, and the upside is everyone at work thinks I'm the hero cause I got the problem sorted!